20 Embarrassing Things Literally Everyone Does

Public persona: meet in-private crazy person.

20 Embarrassing Things Literally Everyone Does

Public persona: meet in-private crazy person.

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In each and every one of us, there exists two people. One is the person we show to the world, who has self-respect and dignity and tries to behave accordingly. And then there’s the other person, who does things in private that we’d never admit to even under oath. Not because they’re illegal, but because they’re very, very embarrassing. We all have that second person inside us, even though we’re loath to admit it. Because revealing our nose-picking, armpit smelling alter-egos to the world would be revealing something horrible: That we’re not perfect all the time.

Here are twenty mortifying things that we all do, but always when we’re reasonably confident that nobody is watching. While these natural urges are more or less non-threatening to your health, it’s might be time to curb these 15 Natural Urges You Should Always Be Able to Recognize—And Fight.

jedi door

1
Pretending you’re a Jedi when walking through an automatic sliding door

The Force is strong in you. Or maybe the door is programmed to do that and you had nothing to do with it. Either way, you’re ready for your training with Yoda. And for more embarrassing habits, check out the 40 Hilarious Things Everyone Has Secretly Done.

Woman Googling Herself Embarrassing Things

2
Googling yourself

Hey, who isn’t a bit interested in what the Internet says about him or her? It’s when you’re busted when you really feel embarrassed. But instead of stalking yourself on Google, try sending one of these 50 Amazing Jokes You Can Text to Friends.

people waving

3
Waving at someone who wasn’t actually waving at you

You realize too late that the greeting wasn’t meant for you, it was for somebody behind you. Do you keep waving anyway, pretending you’re trying to get the attention of a friend down the block? Or just shove your hands in your pockets and walk quickly away, avoiding eye contact? There’s no good recovery.

window reflection

4
Getting caught checking yourself out in a window reflection

Office buildings these days—they all seem to have mirror-quality reflective glass. But why is it that there’s always someone judging you when you stop to fix your hair on the way to work? If it happens to you, break the tension with one of these 30 Great Icebreakers That Are Always Hilarious. 

Woman driving Being Single in your thirties

5
Having your own private mini-concerts in the car

When your favorite jam comes on, you don’t just sing along. You play the drum, the bass guitar, synth, all guitar solos, and of course lead vocals. And you do it entirely with pantomime. Thank goodness nobody can look through your car windows and see you… oh wait!

Man Getting Dressed Embarrassing Things

6
Taking something out of your hamper to wear

That shirt should stay in the hamper. But hey, if you’re short on laundry, you’re short on laundry. And yes, we’re definitely adding this to the 20 Everyday Things It’s Okay to Lie About.

Crying in Front of TV Embarrassing Things

7
Crying at Google commercials

What is it with those ads? Are they trying to turn everybody into weeping messes? We can control ourselves if other people are around. But if we’re alone and one of those commercials come on, it’s waterworks time. And for commercials that will make you laugh, check out the 30 Funniest Celebrity Commercials. 

Woman with Dog Embarrassing Things

8
Talking to your pet like it’s a real person

Um, you do realize that Chairman Meow doesn’t comprehend language, right? He’s a cat. That blank stare means he’s just waiting for you to give him food or scratch his belly. And for more on our strange lives with pets, check out these 20 Celebrities Who Look Like Their Pets!

Boy Turning Water on in Bathroom Embarrassing Things

9
Running water in the bathroom for extra privacy

It’s only slightly embarrassing because the people who hear running water know exactly what you’re doing.

kraft macaroni and cheese

10
Eating your kids’ Kraft Macaroni and Cheese while they’re away

Admit it: You’ve fed this to them so many times, and stolen so many little bites, that you couldn’t wait for your house to be deserted so you could make an entire batch all for yourself! Next time, consider one of the 50 Foods That Will Make You Look Younger.

gossiping

11
Gossiping about someone and then realizing they’re totally in earshot

We know. You just want to crawl into a hole and hide—forever.

listening to music can make you fall asleep on an airplane

12
Wearing headphones with no music just because you don’t want anyone talking to you

Without the music, you’re just being rude. But with headphones, it’s like you’ve magically lost the ability to communicate with people. Hey, it’s not your fault for being anti-social, it’s the Chance the Rapper tunes blaring in your ears.

kid jumping onto bed

13
You leap onto your bed to avoid the monster underneath it

At the age of 45. Hey, all we can say is that an active imagination is a good thing!

Businessman Moving Through Crowd Over 40

14
Pretending not to see someone in public you don’t like

“Did they see me?,” you wonder to yourself. “No, they didn’t see me! I’ll just keep walking… Don’t look back, you’re nearly home free…” We hate to say it, but they definitely saw you.

instagram

15
Accidentally liking a crush’s photo on Instagram

Oh, and it’s too late to undo it. They already know.

energy before noon

16
Playing cheesy music on your headphones at work that aren’t plugged in

Now all your work colleagues know that One Direction is your office jam!

gal gadot wonder woman

17
Imagining narration of your life like a Hollywood movie trailer

“In a world filled with danger and intrigue, where one false move could get you killed, Wonder Woman makes the bold decision… to microwave a burrito for lunch!”

vegetables

18
Surreptitiously putting back the produce you dropped at the grocery store

The five-second rule doesn’t count if you haven’t paid for it yet!

Woman Talking to TV Embarrassing Things

19
Yelling at fictional characters on TV

There are two problems with this. Number one, they aren’t real people. They’re fictional creations performed by actors who have memorized scripts. Number two, and perhaps most important: They can’t hear you. They’re a recording of something that happened a long time. Oh forget it, keep yelling, maybe they’ll listen this time.

Crying Kim Kardashian meme

20
Watching reality TV

Hey, there’s a reason they call it a “guilty” pleasure.

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