50 Craziest Things You Can Buy on Amazon
Are you really living if you don't own a jar of uranium ore?
It's no wonder Jeff Bezos is the richest man in modern history: Amazon can get virtually any item you can dream up to your doorstep in under 48 hours. However, while you may be familiar with the site's selection of books, paper towels, and shampoo, there's a weird, wide world full of items so bizarre you have to see them to believe. We've rounded up the 50 craziest products we could find on Amazon, from the hilarious to those you won't believe are legal. And when you want to shop for something you'll actually use, start with these 50 Genius Products That Will Improve Your Life.
1
A pre-fabricated home in a shipping container
$36,000; buy now on Amazon
Who says you have to pay exorbitant broker fees to find the home of your dreams? You can make your dreams of homeownership come true as easily as you'd buy a bottle of dish soap, thanks to this storage-container-turned-house, available for a cool $36K. And before you sign off on a mortgage, brush up on these 30 Secrets Every First-Time Homebuyers Need to Know.
2
1,500 live ladybugs
$3.05; buy now on Amazon
Who says you can't buy anything for under $10 anymore? In fact, Amazon shoppers can buy 1,500 crawling, flying somethings for the bargain price of a latte.
3
Uranium ore
$39.95; buy now on Amazon
While this small amount of uranium ore is pretty low on the radioactivity meter, it's pretty weird that you can buy it from the same site where you get your gym socks. And for more possessions to ditch, discover these 30 Home Decorations No One Over 30 Should Own.
4
A home mushroom farm
$22.85; buy now on Amazon
Now you can grow your own fungus right at home—and not in between your toes!
5
A cat butt tissue holder
$34.94; buy now on Amazon
This seems like the nicest thing to be plucked from a cat's rear since, well, ever. And who doesn't like to be stared down with peering, inquisitive eyes each time they need to blow their nose?
6
A wall decal of senior citizens in a golf cart
$21.96; buy now on Amazon
Some people decorate their walls with wallpaper, and others with art. And you can make your own home stand out by decorating with this decal of senior citizens riding in a golf cart.
7
A human finger
$15.00; buy now on Amazon
That's right: you can buy human fingers on Amazon! The perfect gift for the science teacher in your life—or the kid you need to start hiding the scissors from. And for more chilling information, discover America's 30 Most Fascinating Unsolved Mysteries.
8
A peanut butter and jelly of the month club
$468.96; buy now at Amazon
If you've ever thought to yourself, "Spreading peanut butter and jelly on bread is too time-consuming," Amazon has the answer. For just under $40 a month, you can enjoy gourmet peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, delivered straight to your door.
9
A bacon-scented mustache
$4.07; buy now on Amazon
Now you can smell bacon all day in peace, its scent hidden in an inconspicuous piece of facial hair. Sure beats rubbing pig fat on your upper lip.
10
A dog dryer
$39.95; buy now on Amazon
Having a dog dry itself off all over your living room post-bath is rarely ideal. Fortunately, there's a bizarre blow-dryer suit out there that can help keep your pup from dripping all over the house.
11
A Godzilla garden gnome
$24.99; buy now on Amazon
Let those pesky, roving neighborhood gnomes know where they're not welcome. (A series of big-budget, narratively lackluster sequels not included.)
12
A desktop refrigerator
$38.00; buy now on Amazon
Now when you say you need a cold one, you can mean it literally, with one (1) single refrigerated beverage at your fingertips.
13
A suture practice kit
$45.95; buy now on Amazon
Not quite a game, not quite medical school, this suture training kit will have you fixing up wounds and repairing hems with ease.
14
Dill pickle lip balm
$11.95; buy now on Amazon
Some people want their mouths to be minty fresh, or sweetly scented. And others just want their lips to have the distinct flavor of something that might accompany a pastrami sandwich.
15
A pizza hat
$11.62; buy now on Amazon
Finally, you can indulge in everyone's life-long desire of wearing pizza atop their head. Beware the sprinkled parmesan as you nod or shake your head, though—some might mistake it for dandruff.
16
A baby mop
$29.99; buy now on Amazon
It's never too early to teach your children about chores, as evidenced by this suit that lets your baby mop the house for you.
17
Dancing with Cats
$13.22; buy now on Amazon
If you truly love your pet, you'll do anything for them, or with them—including interpretive dance, according to this book.
18
Roast beef bath soak
$17.95; buy now on Amazon
The only thing more relaxing than a warm bath is a warm bath full of au jus.
19
A realistic dog pillow
$14.99; buy now on Amazon
Just because your building doesn't allow pets doesn't mean you can't enjoy the company of a furry friend—albeit a not-so-animated one.
20
A bean-squeezing stress reliever
$8.99; buy now on Amazon
Nothing quite relieves stress like popping a cute little emoji-faced bean out of a pod—right?
21
A zombie chocolate bunny
$45.00; buy now on Amazon
The only thing better than a chocolate Easter bunny is a chocolate Easter bunny with an insatiable thirst for blood.
22
A cat carrier dress
$16.99; buy now on Amazon
Bringing your cat around in a plastic carrier is so passé. If you need to keep your cat closer, you can always opt for this dress with a cat pouch instead.
23
A fish pencil case
$3.97; buy now on Amazon
Not every kid is eager to go to school with a Hello Kitty pencil case. Sometimes, you just want to stick your writing instruments into the belly of a very realistic-looking fish.
24
A Cthulhu hat
$8.90; buy now on Amazon
This balaclava has everything you need to brave the cold: coverage for the top of your head to keep heat from escaping, protection for your cheeks against the winter winds, and, of course, the terrifying tentacles of a mythical sea beast.
25
A Nicolas Cage sequin pillowcase
$24.95; buy now on Amazon
The only thing better than a festive red sparkly pillowcase is one that morphs into Nicolas Cage's face with the satisfying swipe of your hand.
26
A dog wig
$9.57; buy now on Amazon
Dogs deserve to feel every bit as stylish as their human counterparts. And fortunately, this wig can help them achieve that goal.
27
Earthworm jerky
$14.99; buy now on Amazon
Earthworms are already a dietary staple in cultures around the world, thanks to their availability, as well as their high protein and calcium content. And there's no reason adventurous eaters in Amazon delivery zones should miss out either, thanks to this big bag of earthworm jerky.
28
A tennis ball with a head strap
$5.28; buy now on Amazon
While billed as a way to improve your reflexes as a boxer, it seems like an equally good way to get hit in the face with a tennis ball over and over.
29
A horror movie sound maker
$299.00; buy now on Amazon
Surprise guests by making them think It is hiding just around the corner.
30
An air-blaster
$24.99; buy now on Amazon
They say this loud and terrifying thing is for fun with family and friends, but it seems better suited to enemies and nemeses.
31
A pound of replica human fat
$23.73; buy now on Amazon
If you've ever needed a means of convincing yourself not to go back for seconds, this rubbery pound of replica fat is sure to do the trick.
32
A baby gold grill pacifier
$6.95; buy now on Amazon
Sure, there are thousands of pacifiers on the market that can keep your child quiet and happy, but only one that will make it look like Lil Wayne.
33
Surf and turf
$179.90; buy now on Amazon
For most people, surf and turf is something you might order at an expensive restaurant. For those who prioritize convenience over all things, it's a completely normal addition to your Amazon cart.
34
30 pieces of fake garlic
$10.99; buy now on Amazon
Decorating with fake fruit isn't exactly unheard of, but if you want a break from tradition (or are just eager to make your house look like an Olive Garden), these 30 pieces of fake garlic should do the trick.
35
Baby hands candles
$15.00; buy now on Amazon
If you can get over the natural aversion to lighting a couple of eerily-lifelike baby hands on fire, you're in for a treat with these handmade, pure beeswax candles.
36
Gardening claws
$9.49; buy now on Amazon
Now you can garden like the wild beast you are. Just be sure not to fall into any wild animal traps you may have set back when you were a poor, claw-less human.
37
A hand squirrel
$6.50; buy now on Amazon
While it's all well and good to have a variety of puppets at your disposal, few things rival this strangely-realistic hand squirrel.
38
An angry Juliette Lewis mousepad
$7.45; buy now on Amazon
Whether you're a fan of Juliette and the Licks or just love Natural Born Killers, you can show your admiration for Juliette Lewis with this tasteful mousepad.
39
An inflatable pool bull
$34.50; buy now on Amazon
When you want to turn your pool party up to 11, try this inflatable bull on for size and see if you can last eight seconds.
40
A pail of 10 preserved crayfish
$12.50; buy now on Amazon
For those in the market for crayfish you can keep forever without any upkeep, look no further. Oh, but you do have to buy 10 of them.
41
A Lincoln Memorial pillow
$29.93; buy now on Amazon
For some people, simply remembering your eighth grade trip to Washington D.C. isn't enough—and for those people, there's this pillow.
42
A turkey hat
$12.99; buy now on Amazon
While most people don't typically dress up for Thanksgiving, this charming turkey hat seems worth making an exception for.
43
A bloody bath mat
$12.96; buy now on Amazon
If you've ever dreamed of turning your bathroom into a scene from a horror movie, you're apparently not alone—and Amazon has the perfect accessory for you.
44
The WineRack Bra
$29.99; buy now on Amazon
Drinks at bars and clubs can be downright expensive, but not for the owners of the WineRack, a sports bra that holds a full bottle of wine in it.
45
An inflatable cat horn
$6.02; buy now on Amazon
You probably already think your cat is quite the unicorn, but you can easily make it official with this accessory that definitely won't get you clawed to oblivion.
46
A life-size cutout of Danny DeVito
$74.97; buy now on Amazon
For those who think there's nothing more comforting than having the star of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest watch over you, this Danny DeVito cutout should come in handy.
47
A pigeon mask
$27.48; buy now on Amazon
You can finally roam the neighborhood in peace disguised in this lifelike pigeon mask. Hey, you might even get thrown a couple bread crumbs from sympathetic passersby!
48
A cellulite therapy cell phone case
$25.69; buy now on Amazon
We'll bet those bedazzled cases you used to adorn your phone with won't get you anywhere near the number of looks you get using this case, which bears the image of a woman getting cellulite therapy on her thighs.
49
Cocktail blood bags
$9.99; buy now on Amazon
A perfect way to celebrate a nursing school graduation or a newfound interest in vampirism, these blood bags meant for cocktails are sure to liven up every party.
50
Nothing
$6.98; buy now on Amazon
What do you get for the person who has everything? Nothing—literally. But unlike traditional nothing, this one will cost you almost $7.
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