This Is the No. 1 Turn-Off for Men, According to a Therapist

If you're doing this, it might be pushing people away in all of your relationships.

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Allowing your turn-offs to totally dictate your romantic decisions can sometimes be seen as shallow, but the human condition is such that if you don't like something about someone, you really don't like it. There are plenty of superficial turn-offs out there tailored to people's personal preferences, but there is at least one that most men can agree would be challenging to overcome. According to an expert, the biggest turn-off for men is when their partner is emotionally unavailable.

"The number one turn-off for men in relationships is when their partner is emotionally closed off or 'hard,' while simultaneously critical of them and/or their actions," says psychotherapist and men's health expert Josh Jonas, LCSW-R. Jonas has worked with hundreds of couples throughout his career and says that this dynamic can create a negative climate for couples.

One way this may manifest in a relationship "is telling a man what to do, as opposed to telling a man how you feel," says Jonas. "The irony is everyone tends to hate this experience, and this exchange!" This is a significant turn-off for any gender because it demonstrates to your partner that you're not ready to engage in the discussions—and potentially the disagreements—that come with making a relationship successful.

Woman being passive aggressive
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Many people struggle with being emotionally available. If your partner is not comfortable discussing how they feel, their words or actions may come across as conflicting with what they are actually trying to say. On the other hand, being emotionally upfront is a turn-on in any relationship because it allows both of your needs to be heard and met.

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Some people might construe emotionally unavailable behavior as being passive-aggressive. A connection burdened with passive-aggressive behavior is built to fail because there is limited communication. Whether a relationship is long-term, strictly sexual, or a friendship, it requires open, honest communication to thrive, which is something passive-aggressive behavior does not allow for.

While being straightforward and open may not be the first thing that comes to mind when you think of men's turn-ons, it is much hotter than being emotionally closed-off and not saying what you really mean. And for what women want, The Ideal Body Type According to 65,000 Women Might Surprise You.

Allie Hogan
Allie Hogan is a Brooklyn based writer currently working on her first novel. Read more
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