6 Small Things Happy Couples Do, According to a Therapist
The little things really do make a big impact.
When it comes to being in a successful relationship, not all gestures have to be so grand. According to psychotherapist Kristina Virro, certain things might seem small, but the accumulation of them actually makes a huge impact on the relationship. Specifically, she says there are six small things that happy couples do. And what's great about these actions is that you can easily incorporate them into your existing daily routine. Read on for Virro's advice.
Create micro-moments of connection
In a TikTok video on her account @therapykristina, Virro says the first small thing happy couples do is create micro-moments of connection. As the term micro suggests, these are quick instances that incite a positive feeling with your partner.
"This can look like giving each other a good morning kiss or giving each other a hug before the other person leaves for work," says Virro. While these actions may seem inconsequential, you're actively deciding to do them, and it means you're thinking about the other person.
Ask how each other's day is/was
"It's really easy to forget to check in on one another when you just get lost in the hustle and bustle of life," explains Virro. So, making a conscious effort to ask how their day was can mean a lot.
This could be sitting down for a meal together and catching up on the day's events or even a phone call when you're stuck in traffic on the way home. If you're not living with your partner, this is a great way to fill them in on the things they miss when you're not together.
Be an active listener
Being an active listener is next on Virro's list, and it goes hand in hand with asking your partner about their day. When they're talking to you, whether it's about something big or small, give your partner your undivided attention, asking questions and not being on your phone while they're speaking to you, she says.
Active listening also includes acknowledging their feelings when they're in a bad mood or showing genuine interest in what they're saying.
Give each other loving attention
According to Virro, happy couples give each other loving attention and physical touch outside of the bedroom. Things like hand holding, back scratches, or playing with their hair are all easy ways to show affection, she says.
Physical touch is a common love language, and even the smallest touches can feel impactful. They can also relay the message that your partner is more attracted to you as a whole rather than just during intimate moments.
Virro notes that thanking your partner for things like unloading the dishwasher or picking up the kids from school can go a long way. A lot of people may think these things are a given, or that their partner doesn't deserve any special attention for things they are expected to do on a regular basis. However, expressing gratitude and showing appreciation goes beyond that.
Virro says it's not about giving your partner a trophy: "It's just about creating a loving, kind culture in your home."
Do thoughtful things from a place of generosity.
Doing thoughtful things for your partner from a place of generosity means a lot more than doing them because you feel like you have to. "Bring your partner a cup of coffee in the morning, or leave them a little love note," says Virro.
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