It’s pretty easy to spot somebody who grew up in the 90s. We get unreasonably excited at the sight of a 3D animated dancing baby. We can’t get on any ship or sailboat without heading directly to the bow to shout, “I’m king of the world!” We were the first generation with email addresses, and the last to listen to all our music on CDs. We still get misty-eyed over Kurt Cobain and Tupac Shakur and Princess Diana, we’ll still sing along with Chumbawamba’s “Tubthumping” (even if we couldn’t stand the song in the 90s), and we’re still a little freaked out by the Y2K bug. Hey, it’s been 18 years since nothing happened, but that doesn’t mean we’re not continually surprised every time our computers turn on.
But perhaps the easiest way to spot a 90s kid is by what makes them laugh. Nobody loves a good OJ Simpson or Tickle Me Elmo joke more than we do. If lines like “no soup for you” or “Now That’s Some High Quality H2O” doesn’t make you laugh uncontrollably — and maybe get a little choked up because wow, was that really so long ago? — the Go-Go 90s probably wasn’t the decade where you finally blossomed into a grown-up. Here are 30 jokes that those of us who came of age in the last days of the 20th century will find uproarious, and will likely leave the rest of you scratching your heads. And for more jokes best served up in a time capsule, check out these 30 Funniest Jokes about Growing Up in the ‘80s.
Computers are like air conditioners…
They stop working properly if you open Windows.
And for more dad-worthy jokes, check out these 40 Corny Jokes You Can’t Help But Laugh At.
Where did Saddam Hussein keep all of his CDs?
What did the Super Nintendo say to the Sega Genesis?
“You know, everyone always tells me that I’m a bit better than you.”
And for more ancient artifacts, check out these 15 Tech Terms from the ’90s No One Uses Anymore.
Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
I saw footage of polar bears drinking water today.
It’s obviously fake; everybody knows they only drink Coca-Cola.
And for more hilarity hidden in your favorite commercials, check out The 30 Funniest Jokes In TV Commercials.
I had a girlfriend who didn’t like PDAs.
So I guess buying her a PalmPilot for her birthday was a bad idea, huh?
What did Mike Tyson say to Van Gogh?
“You gonna eat that?”
Who’s the most famous Los Angeles Dodger?
I had a broken vacuum.
But then I put a Backstreet Boys sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.
Cargo pants made a lot more sense in the ’90s…
…when you had to carry around a Nokia brick phone, a discman, extra wallet chains and 200 CDs. [credit: Streeter Seidell]
Despite what you may have been told by a certain girl group…
…If you wanna be my lover, please do NOT get with my friends.
There are still 2.1 million AOL dial-up users.
Remember them this holiday season with a gift card from Radio Shack.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Look for the fresh prints.
What’s the difference between Bill Clinton and government bonds?
Government bonds will mature someday.
What is Forrest Gump’s email password?
Why couldn’t Anthony Kiedis get his DVD player to work?
He had a scart issue.
Why shouldn’t you take a Pokemon into the bathroom?
Because it might take a Pikachu.
Members of Ace of Base were killed in a horrible traffic accident after they missed their exit on the highway and crashed.
According to police reports, “They didn’t see the sign.”
What did John Wayne Bobbitt say to his wife?
“That’s not what I meant when I asked for a trial separation!”
A sure sign that you aren’t Y2K ready.
You’ve backed-up your desktop by pushing it against the wall.
What’s the difference between a grunge rocker and a homeless person?
One of them wears dirty clothes, has unwashed hair and smells like garbage…. and the other is a homeless person.
Why did they let Jeff Gillooly and Tonya Harding sing the National Anthem at the Olympics?
They have a good set of pipes.
What’s so great about ordering the soup from Oasis?
You get a roll with it!
It is not conclusive yet, but NASA believes the Mars Pathfinder has found proof of life on Mars.
The CD player was stolen.
Why is it appropriate that the Rolling Stones let their song “Start Me Up” be used for a Windows 95 commercial?
Because it contains the lyrics “You’d make a grown man cry.”
In Saudi Arabia, a 14-year-old boy was detained for dancing to the Macarena.
You know, I don’t say this often but I’m going to side with the Saudi government on this one. [credit: Conan O’Brian]
Do you know the worst part of finding yourself?
Realizing you’re not Waldo.
I fainted in the curry house when I heard REM had split up.
That’s me in the Korma.
I just met you, and this is crazy…
…but here’s my landline number, fax me maybe.
Why did scientists clone Dolly?
They wanted some sheep thrills.
And for more ’90s nostalgia, check out these 20 Slang Terms From the 1990s No One Uses Anymore.
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