30 Hilarious Jokes from the 1980s That Will Stoke Your Nostalgia
You won't stop believing...in these one-liners.
Those of us who grew up in the ’80s look at the world a little differently than everybody else. We’re not afraid of turning up the collar of our polo shirts, and wearing some frosted blue eyeshadow and feathered bangs. We think “Born in the USA” should be the National Anthem and the Commodore 64 was the best computer money could buy—and sometimes, of course, we just want to shout, shout, let it all out. We know the deep sadness of the Challenger tragedy, the euphoria of Baby Jessica being rescued from the well, and the smug satisfaction of believing we helped solve world hunger by buying a “We Are the World” cassingle.
Our sense of humor also makes us unique. We laugh at things that might leave other people stone-faced. If our cultural references don’t always make sense, well, as that old saying goes, I guess you just had to be there. Here are 30 jokes guaranteed to put a smile on the face of anyone who came of age in the 1980s. As for the rest of you, don’t feel bad if these jokes go over your head. Not everyone can grow up in history’s greatest decade. And for more jokes suitable for any crowd, check out these 30 Actually Funny Clean Jokes for Any Situation.
How many letters are in the alphabet?
Twenty-two, because E.T. went home and somebody shot J.R.!
And for more humor from your favorite childhood classics, check out The 20 Funniest Jokes From Kids Movies.
During Christmas, we always put our manger scene in the middle of the room.
Because nobody puts baby in the corner!
My friend thought he was better Super Mario player than me.
But he was wrong on so many levels!
Why couldn’t the Ghostbusters ever finish Oregon Trail?
Because they couldn’t cross the streams!
I just saw David Byrne from Talking Heads.
He was same as he ever was, same as he ever was!
What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he was invited to a classical composers costume party?
“I’ll be Bach!”
Why are valley girls so odd?
They can’t even!
What’s Madonna’s favorite sauce?
What did Darth Vader say when the record store employee told him they were out of George Michael albums?
“I find your lack of ‘Faith’ disturbing.”
How come U2 still haven’t found what they’re looking for?
Because the streets have no names!
Yo’ Mama is so stupid…
She took the Pepsi Challenge and she chose Jif!
What do you call a special interest group devoted to getting Pac-Man elected to a political office?
Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his collection of Pixar films except one.
He’s never going to give you Up!
Why did Bono fall off the stage?
He was too close to The Edge!
My first thought every time I hear the Pink Floyd song that goes “We don’t need no education…”
Is… Um, maybe you do need an education, cause you just used a double negative.
And for more laughs, see what Pink Floyd’s original band was by reading up on the 30 Worst First Names for Your Favorite Bands.
What did Michael Jackson do when his hair caught fire?
He Beat It!
Why would someone want to have a DeLorean as a second car?
He could drive it from time to time!
What kind of beer does Indiana Jones drink to reinforce his courage?
A Rolling Rock!
Why did George Michael have chocolate all over his face?
He was careless with his Wispa!
What do you get when cross the Dukes of Hazzard car with K.I.T.T.?
General Lee speaking!
What do you get when you cross an ’80s hair band with a fish?
Have you heard there’s finally going to be a Top Gun 2?
Hopefully, they finally catch those crazy engineers who built a highway that goes directly into the danger zone. [credit: Stephen Colbert]
“My printer is busted,” an employee tells the IT guy.
“It’s got a full ream of paper,” he continues, “but I keep getting the warning message, ‘I just can’t get enough, I just can’t get enough?'”
“I see the problem,” the IT guy says. “It’s stuck in Depeche Mode.”
What are Jellies and Jams?
If you said “fruit preserves for toast,” you’d be wrong. They’re the most awesome baggy clothes with crazy prints and plastic shoes that money can buy!
A 20-year-old is hitting on you and trying to get your phone number. What do you tell him?
“867-5309. Just ask for Jenny.”
“Your brain seems to have deleted all information about ’80s music,” the doctor said to his patient.
“Oh no,” the patient said. “What is The Cure?”
What’s the name of Mr. T’s girlfriend?
I guess New Jersey is okay.
But I wish they would bring back Jersey Classic!
What’s the Queen’s favorite Prince song?
Worst Christmas present ever: a Bonnie Tyler GPS.
It keeps telling me to turn around, and every now and then it falls apart!
And for more decade-inspired humor, check out The Funniest Joke From Every Decade Since 1900.
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