25 Hilarious Jokes from the 1980s That Will Stoke Your Nostalgia

You won't stop believing...in these one-liners.

25 Hilarious Jokes from the 1980s That Will Stoke Your Nostalgia
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Those of us who grew up in the '80s look at the world a little differently than everybody else. We're not afraid of turning up the collar of our polo shirts and wearing some light blue eyeshadow. We think "Born in the U.S.A." should be the national anthem and the Commodore 64 was the best computer money could buy—and sometimes, of course, we just want to shout, shout, let it all out. We know the euphoria of Baby Jessica being rescued from the well, and the smug satisfaction of believing we helped solve world hunger by buying a "We Are the World" cassette single.

Our sense of humor also makes us unique. We laugh at things that might leave other people stone-faced. If our cultural references don't always make sense, well, as that old saying goes, I guess you just had to be there. Here are 25 jokes guaranteed to put a smile on the face of anyone who came of age in the 1980s. As for the rest of you, don't feel bad if these jokes go over your head. Not everyone can grow up in history's greatest decade.

1
Why are valley girls so odd?

Teenage girls with big hair in 1980s
John Birdsall / Alamy Stock Photo

They can't even!

2
What's the Queen's favorite Prince song?

prince playing the piano while wearing a crop top
Alamy

"Purple Reign!"

3
Why would someone want to have a DeLorean as a second car?

delorean, movie props, unusual gifts
Shutterstock

They could drive it from time to time!

4
What do you get when you cross an '80s hair band with a fish?

bon jovi you give love a bad name cover art, best breakup songs
Mercury Records

BonChovy!

5
What kind of beer does Indiana Jones drink to reinforce his courage?

indiana jones
Lucasfilm/IMDB

A Rolling Rock!

6
What's Madonna's favorite sauce?

Madonna
PictureLux/The Hollywood Archive /Alamy

Hollandaise. Celebrate!

7
What did Darth Vader say when the record store employee told him they were out of George Michael albums?

Single Cover for Faith George Michael 80s Jokes
Columbia

"I find your lack of 'Faith' disturbing."

8
What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he was invited to a classical composers costume party?

Arnold Schwarzenegger 80s Jokes
Shutterstock

"I'll be Bach!"

9
What's the name of Mr. T's girlfriend?

Mr. T
Shutterstock

April, fools!

10
What's wrong with that Bonnie Tyler GPS?

Bonnie Tyler in Total Eclipse of the heart music video, 1980s jokes
Columbia

It keeps telling me to turn around, and every now and then it falls apart!

11
Why did the '80s kid always put the manger scene in the middle of the room?

Christmas Eve traditions, things you should never store in your attic
Shutterstock

Because nobody puts baby in the corner!

12
Can you believe that guy thinks he's a better Super Mario player than me?

super mario
Shutterstock

He's wrong on so many levels!

13
Why couldn't the Ghostbusters ever finish Oregon Trail?

ghostbusters
Shutterstock

Because they couldn't cross the streams!

14
How does David Byrne from Talking Heads look these days?

david byrne
Shutterstock

He's the same as he ever was, same as he ever was!

15
What do you call a special interest group devoted to getting Pac-Man elected to a political office?

pacman
Shutterstock

A Pac-PAC!

16
Which film won't Rick Astley let you borrow from his Pixar collection?

popcorn
Shutterstock

He's never going to give you Up!

17
Why did Bono fall off the stage?

Bono and The Edge
Shutterstock

He was too close to The Edge!

18
What does Pink Floyd need?

Pink Floyd 80s Jokes
Shutterstock

An education, obviously—seeing as "we don't need no education…" is a double negative.

19
What did the '80s tech employee say was wrong with the printer?

Laser printer
Shutterstock

It was stuck in Depeche Mode!

20
What do '80s kids eat on their toast?

Jellies Shoes 80s Jokes
Shutterstock

Jellies and Jams!

21
What did the '80s girl say when someone asked for her digits?

man on his phone
Shutterstock

"867-5309. Just ask for Jenny."

22
What did the patient say when the doctor told him, "Your brain seems to have deleted all information about '80s music"?

the cure
Shutterstock

"Oh no. What is The Cure?"

23
Have you heard there's finally going to be a Top Gun 2?

Top Gun 80s Jokes
Paramount Pictures

Hopefully, they finally catch those crazy engineers who built a highway that goes directly into the danger zone. [Credit: Stephen Colbert]

24
What's wrong with New Jersey?

new jersey state welcome sign, iconic state photos
Shutterstock

It's OK, but I wish they would bring back Jersey Classic!

25
How come the members of U2 still haven't found what they're looking for?

U2 Despised Bands That Are Successful
Shutterstock

Because the streets have no names!

And for more '80s silliness, check out the 25 Reasons We're Glad We Grew Up in the '80s.

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