Skip to content

5 Signs Your Friend Secretly Finds You Attractive, Dating Coach Says

Going from friends to lovers isn't always easy, which is why you'll want to look out for these cues.

Ross and Rachel might have set the bar for the friends-to-lovers trope (though we'd prefer to avoid the infamous "we were on a break" storyline), but in reality, it can be a lot harder to take a relationship from platonic to romantic. Before making a move on your best bud, you'll want to be confident the feelings are mutual—which is where dating coach Jacob Lucas' advice comes in. In a recent video, he shared the five signs your friend secretly finds you attractive. Pay attention to these cues, and your friendship may soon have some new benefits.

RELATED: 7 Body Language Signs That Mean Someone Is Attracted to You, According to Therapists.

You catch them stealing glances at you.

Senior man and woman on treadmills in the gym. The man in the foreground is looking down while the woman in the background smiles at him.

In his TikTok video, Lucas starts out by saying that if a friend or work colleague does any of these five things, "they find you HOT."

The first clue he says to look out for is if you "always catch that person looking at you when they think you are not looking at them."

Of course, they'll want to steal glances because they're attracted to you, but they might also be trying to gauge when a good time is to strike up a conversation or if anyone else is flirting with you.

They only like photos of you when you're alone in them.

man looking suspiciously at his phone while sitting on the couch
Prostock-studio / Shutterstock

Posted a photo of yourself on social media looking chummy with another friend or your current partner? Chances are, they won't like it. Posted a selfie? They'll probably be the first to give it a heart or a thumbs up, Lucas says.

Even if it's subconscious, your friend would rather envision themselves in those photos with you than another possible love interest.

RELATED: As a Professional Dating Coach, I Know the Secret to Kissing Like a Pro.

They "groom" themselves around you.

A young man smiling and combing his hair in front of his laptop at his desk in the office.
Roman Samborskyi / Shutterstock

A flip of the hair, straightening their tie, adjusting their shirt—if your friend is doing any of these subtle behaviors around you, chances are they're attracted to you.

"You always catch them grooming themselves around you, even when it's just you and them, because they want to look good for you," Lucas explains.

They distance themselves when you're in a relationship.

Woman looking jealously at another man and woman from across the bar
wavebreakmedia / Shutterstock

If you're worried that your friend doesn't like your new partner, you may want to consider that they're being standoffish because they're attracted to you.

"Whenever you get into a new relationship with somebody, they always put distance between you and themselves, because they are actually jealous," shares Lucas.

If you're single, this jealousy could manifest in them constantly asking you questions about your love life because they "want to see if they have any romantic competition with anybody else that you talk to," he explains in another video.

RELATED: 10 Signs You Have Amazing Chemistry With Someone, Dating Coach Says.

They subtly touch you.

Man and woman flirting at a cafe; the woman is touching the man's back and holding her other hand to her chest
Prostock-studio / Shutterstock

Maybe it's a hand on your back when they let you walk through the door first, or perhaps it's a graze of the hand when they pass you a plate.

If your friend secretly finds you attractive, "They will break that touch barrier with you at any opportunity," says Lucas.

Even if they don't get as far as touching, they might also position themselves to face you or make sure they nab the seat next to you. "This is called proximity," notes Lucas in a separate video about attraction.

Dana Schulz
Dana Schulz is the Deputy Lifestyle Editor at Best Life. She was previously the managing editor of 6sqft, where she oversaw all content related to real estate, apartment living, and the best local things to do. Read more
Filed Under