50 Worst Pet Peeves Practically Everyone Finds Annoying
It's easy, people: Stand on the right, and walk on the left!
We all have pet peeves. It’s just part of being alive and on this planet with other human beings. (Hey, people can be annoying sometimes!) And having less-than-tolerant opinions about that doesn’t make you a bad person. In fact, some studies have suggested that whining can even make you happier, just as long as you’re mindful about when and how you complain.
But here are 50 pet peeves—from the mildly inconsiderate to the downright infuriating—that I think we can all agree on, because they’re the absolute worst.
Twenty years ago, at least you had a good excuse for being late. Today, everybody has a computer, a clock, a calendar and a GPS in their hand. You know exactly where, when, and how to get anywhere you’re going. No excuses!
Chewing is one of those activities that doesn’t need to be shared with a wide audience. Maybe consider closing your mouth? Or eating things that don’t have the edible consistency of fireworks? We shouldn’t need earplugs to dine with you. (Be advised, however: If chewing noises really get under your skin, you may be suffering from more than just a passing annoyance. You may be allergic to certain sounds.)
The sound of styrofoam rubbing together
Even just writing the word “styrofoam” makes our skin crawl and our teeth itch. It’s also terrible for the environment, so can we all agree to finally ditch this devil substance and be done with it?
Other people staring at their phones
When we do it, it’s because we have important emails to read or texts to respond to. But other people staring at their screens, in any context, is just rude and inconsiderate. How dare they? What do they have against human interaction and eye contact? How did those zombies go through life like that?
Personal grooming in a public place
This includes clipping nails, brushing hair, or just. Personal grooming should only be done at home, with the curtains drawn, in complete privacy. It is not an activity that requires or is appreciated by an audience.
Sudden stops in pedestrian traffic
Whether you’re on a city sidewalk or the middle of Disney World, slamming on the foot brakes can have a ripple effect to everybody around you. If you need to stop and take another look at the Disney map to see how far you are from the Magic Castle, or you just want to pause and look up at the big buildings, that’s totally cool. But move to the side and let the natural forward momentum of the crowd continue on without you.
Take one step back, Tex. There’s plenty of space for everybody to coexist during a conversation without getting so close that you can feel the other person’s breath on your neck. If you think you’re not being heard, speak up, don’t step forward.
However you sneeze in the privacy of your own home is up to you. But when you’re surrounded by other people and you feel a sneeze coming on, the polite way to handle it is by shielding your mouth and nose with a hand. Nobody is asking you to wear a Hazmat suit if you’ve got a minor nose cold, just don’t be quite so obvious and oblivious about hurling germs straight at our faces.
Yes, your dog is cute. He was cute two hours ago and he’ll continue being cute for the foreseeable future. We don’t need to be reminded of your dog’s inherent cuteness, or your child’s inherent cuteness, or that you read an article in the New York Times and think we should too, or that you have opinions about the latest season of Stranger Things. Things that aren’t posted online really do continue to exist in the real world.
What you eat is your business. And similarly, what we put into our mouths is entirely ours. Believe it or not, we’re already aware of things like slaughterhouses and heart disease. Nobody eats meat without realizing the risks. We’re also aware of the risks of being a vegan, which is apparently becoming totally humorless and judgmental! (OK, in all seriousness: If you’re vegan, good for you!)
People who dictate into their phones using a voice recognition app are basically just modern versions of people who read while moving their lips. Please text clumsily with your thumbs like the rest of us.
The internet is a miracle of modern technology. But suffering through slow connection is like dying a thousand deaths of frustration. How is it possible in 2019 that getting an internet connection faster than circa-2001 AOL can still seem like such an impossible dream?
Those people who drift in front of you in line while you’re not paying attention and then pretend they were there the whole time? They’re awful. Even they know they’re awful. But they think they’re getting away with it, which is somehow worse.
Those people who push the button again even though it’s already been pushed
Listen, it’s already been pushed. The elevator or the crosswalk sign is going to do what it’s going to do. Your magic touch will not be making anything happen sooner than it was already scheduled to arrive.
Using Internet shorthand in face-to-face conversation
People who use acronyms like “LOL” or “OMG” in actual conversation—meaning, where two people are in the same room IRL and not conversing online—are not nearly as clever as they like to assume. Quite frankly, they’re the intellectual equals of people who still think it’s funny to type 58008 into a calculator.
People who don’t wash their hands after using the bathroom
We don’t want to hear arguments about how your hands are cleaner than any bathroom sink or why passing around a few germs is actually healthy for our immune system. If you’ve used a toilet, your hands need soap and water.
People who hold up TSA security
Unless this is your very first time in the airport, you are well aware that you need to remove your shoes and take your laptop out of the bag and place all your items in a bin on a moving belt to be x-rayed. So why do some airline passengers meander through security like they’re preteens begrudgingly doing chores? We’ve all got a plane to catch, can we please speed it up a bit?
Slow drivers in the passing lane
The left-hand lane is for passing or for cars driving faster than anyone else on the road. It’s not a place to cruise at 20 miles below the speed limit because you can’t be bothered to get back into the slow lane. When even farmers on tractors are flashing their lights at you, it’s time to switch over.
Formal social media departure announcements
Taking some time away from Facebook or Twitter is a great idea. What’s not a great idea is making sure everybody knows your plans in advance with a grand declaration. It’s social media, not jury duty. You’re not getting a court summons if you don’t update your Instagram tomorrow.
Passengers who fiddle with a car driver’s radio
Would you walk into somebody’s house and start rearranging the furniture? No, of course not, that would be insane. So if you’re a passenger in somebody’s car, leave the radio alone. They’re not interested in what music you think should be playing any more than they want to know where you think their living room couch should be.
Confusing memes with having a personality
Memes can be funny. But sharing memes is not a substitute for a sense of humor.
We live in a society where most people think that what they have to say is fundamentally more important and interesting than whatever somebody else happens to be saying. This is not true. Believe it or not, you can learn a lot by listening to other people rather than just waiting for your chance to jump in with an opinion.
People who say “No offense”
Nobody says this unless they just said something offensive and they want to backtrack so that it doesn’t seem so intentional. You’ll never catch somebody saying, “I sure do love puppies and cake. No offense!”
Guys who bring their guitar to a party
Have you been invited to a hootenanny? Then fine, bring that six-sting. But if it’s a party where people sip on adult beverages and have conversations with each other, nobody is waiting for you to play some Oasis or Green Day covers. “Gosh, I wish somebody would break up the monotony of this party by singing ‘Wonderwall’ right now,” said no one ever.
It’s not that recognizing the difference between “your” and “you’re” isn’t important. It’s that pointing out the error when it’s not technically your job is always, always obnoxious.
These can be so #annoying #obnoxious #bothersome #irksome #vexing #irritating.
Being gluten-free just for kicks
For some people, a gluten-free diet is what keeps them healthy. But there are a growing number of people who choose to be gluten free because it’s fashionable. And they delight in making every social gathering more complicated with their gluten demands and fickle dietary restrictions.
Kids incapable of not being entertained for every second of every minute
Not every second of every moment for children has to be filled with educational or entertaining distractions. They can be a passenger in the backseat of a car without a device for ten minutes. It might seem like torture to them—and to you, if their whining gets loud enough—but a little boredom will actually be good for them.
People who seriously think they’re kind of a big deal
Nobody who is actually a big deal goes out of their way to make sure everyone around them knows that they’re a big deal. If we don’t already know why you’re important, no amount of humble bragging is going to make us suddenly impressed with you. Just be comfortable with yourself in the world, even if that means your fabulousness is not being celebrated.
Oversharing medical conditions
A case of food poisoning or what the doctor told you about that rash you’ve had for weeks certainly seems like important information to you, but to the rest of us, it contains details that are strictly on a need-to-know basis. And let’s be honest, we don’t really “need” to know any of it.
Dog owners who look the other way
Picking up after your dog doesn’t just mean when other people are watching. Nobody wants to step in your dog’s business because you couldn’t be bothered to lean over and scoop it up with a doggie bag. If it comes out of your dog’s rear end, it’s your responsibility.
Saying “You look tired”
Sure, someone might be tired, but, then again, maybe their face just looks like that. Don’t ask anyone if they’re tired, or sad, or angry. It’s going to come across as insulting (and they might just have a resting sleepy face).
The word “literally”
Roughly 99.99999% of the time the word “literally” is included in a sentence, it is literally being used incorrectly (“there were literally a million people at the party”) or redundantly (“the house is literally on fire!”). Please stop using it. Literally.
Bringing up politics just to irritate someone
It’s totally possible for politics to be discussed with mutual respect and civility. But if you’re just bringing up the topic because you like seeing that vein throb on somebody’s forehead, you’re being unnecessarily combative. The world already has enough people screaming their political opinions at each other, don’t add to the tire fire.
Saying “I’m sorry you feel that way” is not an apology. Neither is “mistakes were made.” The only real apology is when you say “I’m sorry” and then—wait for it—stop talking. Adding an “if” or “but” or any other disclaimer is just making it glaringly obvious that your apology is anything but sincere.
People who call you “buddy” because they forgot your name
It’s okay to forget somebody’s name. It’s not okay to keep referring to them as “buddy” or “pal” or “big guy” because you don’t want to admit that you forgot their name. Sorry, but you’re not fooling anybody.
What do we mean by this? When you’re at a club or bar where the main event is karaoke, singing along to your favorite song is not only appropriate but encouraged. But if you’re at a party or driving around with friends and your favorite song comes on, that’s not an invitation to sing every lyric at the top of your lungs. Let the rest of us actually hear it too, okay?
Yes, we know it’s one of the oldest stand-up comedy bits of all time, but it’s legitimately infuriating. Where do those missing socks go? Is somebody stealing them? You search under every couch and cushion, but it’s just disappeared. There’s no point to hanging on to one lone sock without its companion!
When you lose something and a person says, “Well, where was the last place you had it?”
This question always makes our heads want to explode. Seriously? That’s being helpful? If we knew the last place we had it, it wouldn’t be lost, now would it? This is as helpful as telling somebody who’s gone bankrupt, “Maybe your money is gone because you spent it all.”
A lack of outlets
Modern times call for modern needs. Airports, libraries, public spaces—you all have to get better at recognizing that every single one of us needs an outlet. So why are there so few? And why are they so hard to find? Something in our bags or our pockets is always dying and we need power.
Spoilers (and people who get upset about spoilers)
Listen, we live in a fast-paced media world. There are more movies and TV shows than ever before, and it’s hard to keep up. Don’t expect that everyone has the same free time for binging content as you do. Go easy on the spoilers, okay? As for the rest of you, you don’t always have to get freaked out every time you stumble upon a spoiler! It happens!
An e-cigarette is still a cigarette, it’s just one that looks vaguely futuristic and makes people want to justify unhealthy habits. We don’t care what you call it, if it fills our house with smoke, please take it somewhere else.
Unprepared coffee customers
The moment you get in line at Starbucks, you should have at least a vague idea of what you want to order. The menu doesn’t change. It’s not your first time here (probably) and you usually get the same thing. Get it down so the line can move in an orderly fashion. “Venti Americano, half calf, no room for cream.” Was that so hard?
Asking questions during a movie
The best way to understand what’s happening in a movie is to watch it more carefully, not nudge the person sitting next to you and see if they have any idea what you missed.
If somebody asks you to suggest a restaurant or vacation destination, then by all means share away. But lecturing somebody that the lunch they’re currently eating is nothing compared to the “hidden gem” of a restaurant you personally discovered, when such information was neither requested nor desired, is not being helpful.
Not picking up your missed basketball garbage shot
You missed your garbage can basketball shot. Hey, not everybody can be the office LeBron James. But despite your brief fantasy, you’re not actually on a basketball court and your “ball” is actually trash that needs to be disposed of. By you.
Just because you’re louder doesn’t mean what you’re saying is more important or funny than anything else being said. Read the room and adjust your volume.
People who recline their airplane seats without warning
Did you just forget that there are other people behind you and we’ve all got the same excessively limited legroom? When you slam back your seat, that crunching sound you hear is our kneecaps experiencing blunt force trauma.
You’re doing gum wrong. Gum is meant for chewing, not for being annoying.
People who stand on the left
The golden rule of escalators is so simple, forgetting it should be considered a war crime. Say it with us now… Stand on the right, walk on the left! And for more on crazy-annoying things people do, check out The 50 Worst Pet Peeves That Grind on Relationships.
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