Ohio Supreme Court Justice Reveals Sex with “50 Attractive Females,” Goes Viral

Yes, we would call this an overshare.

Ohio Supreme Court Justice Reveals Sex with “50 Attractive Females,” Goes Viral

Yes, we would call this an overshare.

On Friday, November 17, Democrat Bill O’Neill, a 70-year-old who is running for governor of Ohio and is also currently serving as an associate justice of the Ohio Supreme Court, wrote what has to be the most hilariously disturbing Facebook post of all time.

This government official, who, just to reiterate, is a SUPREME COURT JUSTICE, wrote the following Facebook post, at around noon in response to the fact that Democrat Minnesota Senator Al Franken is, quite rightly, under fire for groping a woman in her sleep:

“Now that the dogs of war are calling for the head of Senator Al Franken I believe it is time to speak up on behalf of all heterosexual males. As a candidate for Governor let me save my opponents some research time. In the last fifty years I was sexually intimate with approximately 50 very attractive females. It ranged from a gorgeous blonde who was my first true love and we made passionate love in the hayloft of her parents barn and ended with a drop dead gorgeous red head from Cleveland.

Now can we get back to discussing legalizing marijuana and opening the state hospital network to combat the opioid crisis. I am sooooo disappointed by this national feeding frenzy about sexual indiscretions decades ago.

Peace.”

Now, obviously, everything about this post is terrible and misguided and offensive and wrong. Saying that the “dogs of war” are calling for a man who has been caught in a photo cupping newscaster Leeann Tweeden’s breasts, as though the senator was assaulting someone in her sleep (and allegedly forcibly kissing her), isn’t at least worthy of heated conversation; acting like because these “sexual indiscretions” happened “decades ago” they don’t matter; and calling a watershed moment in a fight against sexual assault a “national feeding frenzy”—yeah, all of that is decidedly not funny.

But the rest of it, oh my god. Why, why for the love of God would you ever tell people, “In the last fifty years I was sexually intimate with approximately 50 very attractive females”?

How can you not expect the Internet to respond like this:

Also, why, WHY, would you, a 70-year-old man and incumbent supreme court justice, EVER give details like “it ranged from a gorgeous blonde who was my first true love and we made passionate love in the hayloft of her parents barn.”

Are you trying to tell us something, Bill? Are you secretly moonlighting as an erotic fiction novelist? Is this your autobiography?

Perhaps the worst part is that this was the revised version. The first version was even more disgustingly detailed, not to mention it named people who probably don’t want the world to know that they once shared a romp in the haystack with him.

And in case you think this was fake, or written during a spasm of pleasure that turned his mind to mush, he already told a local radio station that he wrote the post and stands by it.

Here at Best Life, we often tell you what to do to be your best self. This right here falls very squarely under what NOT to do.

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