20 White Lies We Tell Strangers Every Day

1 | “Of course I remember you!”

It can be embarrassing when we realize the person we’re talking to, who seems like a complete stranger, is someone we’ve supposedly met at least once in the past. But don't beat yourself up over this lie. After all, it may not be a total lie—our memories often rely on context when it comes to placing a face. 

Or at least that's the finding of a a study published in Nature Communications, which demonstrated "how error prone this process [of remembering peoples' faces outside of context] can be," said psychologist Manos Tsakiris in an interview. So if you see a business contact whom you'd met twice in a conference room in a tiki bar and your brain is totally flummoxed, don't sweat it too much! 

2 | “I’ll call you later.”

It’s a white lie that’s at least attempting to be considerate. Better to say “I’ll call you” than to admit “Yeah, you’ll probably never hear from me again.” Well, maybe. You might think you’re sparing their feelings, but a 2014 poll conducted by 60 Minutes and Vanity Fair found that 22 percent of people thought "I'll call you" was the least justifiable lie somebody could tell, far more egregious than "You've lost weight" or "the check is in the mail."

3 | “What an adorable baby!”

There is no other response to being introduced to a newborn by their proud parents. Remember that classic episode of Seinfeld, when the gang visit a house in the Hamptons and were introduced to what Jerry describes as "the ugliest baby you have ever seen?" Jerry and Elaine were both so repulsed by the child that they could barely look at it for even a few seconds. But they called it adorable and beautiful anyway. As Jerry explained later, "It's a must-lie situation." That’s no joke!

4 | “I am __ years old.”

It’s a white lie that’s pretty easy to get away with unless you’re clearly decades older than you’re claiming. And lying about your age may actually be good for you. A British study found that people who insist that they’re younger than their “technical” age actually live longer. So go ahead, repeat that white lie even if nobody’s buying it. It could be a self-fulfilling prophecy!

5 | “I’m allergic to _____.”

It just seems easier to tell a restaurant server that you have an allergy to mushrooms rather than admit that the creamy mushroom soup-of-the-day sounds really terrible. But as it turns out, servers really wish we’d be more truthful. “If you have a serious dislike of some particular food, that’s fine—tell us, and we’ll recommend something that doesn’t contain that ingredient, or we may even be able to alter a menu item for you,” one server said in an interview. “But if you lie and say it’s an allergy, it’s a huge deal for the kitchen.” 

6 | “The traffic was so bad.”

It’s the excuse everybody gives when the truth is more along the lines of “I didn’t feel like coming here, so I waited until the last possible second, and I’m exactly as late as I thought I’d be, but I don’t want to admit to that because it’s insulting.” Long story short, there was no unusual traffic. 

7 | “It was nice to meet you.”

So much is left unsaid in a white lie like this. As we all know, on far too many occasion the line “nice to meet you” is actually shorthand for “This will be the last time we’re in the same room together if I can help it." 

8 | “I weigh ____ pounds.”

Unless it’s a doctor, we’re unlikely to share the absolute truth about how much we really weigh. If the weight listed on your driver’s license is actually accurate, you’re in the minority. According to Matt Prieto, who works at the Department of Motor Vehicles, people rarely give accurate information about their weight, "but not in a nefarious way. The weight will be 299 rather than something starting with a 3." He says he's occasionally seen underreported poundage that makes him roll his eyes, "but I’ve only seen a couple that made me say you need to change this to something more realistic."

9 | “You have such a lovely home!”

It’s the thing you say to somebody when you’ve run out of meaningful things to tell them. It’s in the same category as saying “I like your shoes” or “where’d you get that watch?” It’s not just about being polite. It’s a survival instinct. It’s caused when you feel the panic of being out conversation and in your head, you’re thinking, "I’m out of ideas! I’m just going to start randomly complimenting things until I can get out of here!"

10 | “No, officer, I have no idea how fast I was going.”

It’s right there on the speedometer, buddy, which is conveniently located right in front of your face, behind the steering wheel. It’s not like saying, “I don’t know how much I weigh.” We don’t walk around with a scale attached to our feet. But we don’t drive anywhere without being constantly reminded of how fast we’re going. Nice try, though!

11 | “Oh yeah, I’ve seen [

12 | “I’m proficient in Microsoft Excel.”

How many people have used a white lie like this on their résumé despite having no idea what Microsoft Excel even is? More than you might suspect. A 2017 poll found that nearly half (46 percent) of workers have lied on their résumés. And they're not necessarily fooling anybody. Fifty-three percent of managers were well aware that applicants were being less than truthful about their abilities.

13 | “Let’s keep in touch.”

If you really mean it, you'll pass over a card, or get someone's number on the spot and immediately text over, "Hey, it's Bob!" But if no meaningful contact information has actually passed from one person to the other, the phrase “let’s keep in touch” is basically a nice way of saying “If we happen to run into each other by accident at a social gathering, I won’t pretend I don’t know you.”

14 | “Do you mind if I take the aisle seat? I’m claustrophobic.”

This white lie is how many passengers have talked their way into getting a different seat on a flight. We suppose it’s better to claim a fake medical condition than admit the unpopular truth, that they want unencumbered access to the restroom and to be one of the first people off the plane when it lands. Yeah, as white lies go, this is definitely better than the alternative. Nobody wants to switch seats with somebody who says “I just want more convenience than you.” And for more bad airplane etiquette, check out these 17 Hilarious Photos of Terrible Airplane Passenger Behavior.

15 | “He’s just tired.”

Any parent will recognize this white lie as the excuse we give to people when our child is crying or screaming or generally behaving like a tiny psycho. But if we were honest, we’d admit what we know in our hearts to be true. Sometimes there isn’t an easy excuse for a toddler’s behavior. It has nothing to do with being sleepy or hungry or anything else. They're just acting up. 

16 | "My favorite novel? It’s a tossup between Melville’s

17 | “I change the oil every 5,000 miles.”

For all our paranoia about how auto mechanics deceive us, inventing repairs that are entirely fictional, we do our fair share of lying to them. Do you remember to bring in your car for an oil change on the exact date specified on that little sticker on your windshield? Probably not, right? How about getting your brake pads checked when you notice a high-pitched noise?

"That just started happening," you tell the mechanic. The white lie is easier than saying, “Listen, I forgot, okay? Just fix it and I’ll promise to bring in the car earlier next time, which I’m probably not going to do.”

18 | “I’ve only had a couple of drinks.”

Maybe you did only have two drinks. Maybe "a couple" of drinks actually means four, or five. Who are we to judge? And for how much you should be drinking, check out This Is Exactly How Much Alcohol You Should Drink.

19 | “I’m from Canada.”

Sometimes you’re on vacation in Europe, and it’s just not worth it, to tell the truth. It’s easier to say “I’m from Canada” and be done with it. It’s not about your personal politics, it’s wanting to explore the world without needing to defend the government of the place where you were born. Some white lies aren’t about protecting other people’s feelings. They’re just about “will you please leave me alone so I can be a tourist”? 

20 | “I have read the terms and conditions.”

Face it: No one reads the terms and conditions when they're buying something online. You might very well be agreeing to sign away all of your personal information, and every photo you’ve ever taken of your children, but that would involve far too much actual reading. Just click the box and pretend you’re fine with whatever you’ve agreed to, and hopefully, it all works out in the end. 

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