Here’s Dr. Ruth’s Advice on Online Dating, Dry Spells, and One-Night Stands
America's favorite sex therapist is back—and better than ever.
Nowadays, you can’t swing a handbag without coming across a dating coach or sex therapist. But Dr. Ruth was the original. At a time when people were only beginning to discuss female sexuality at all, the tiny, elderly German native became a household name, not only thanks to the dozens of books that she wrote on sex and her highly rated television programs, but also thanks to the warm and frank way she encouraged everyone to “get some.”
In the dystopian world that is the modern dating scene, I’d argue that we need Dr. Ruth more than ever. And, luckily, not only is the 90-year-old still here to dispense her wisdom, but she’s also the subject of a new documentary called Ask Dr. Ruth. She’s been making the rounds at Sundance to promote the film, thereby providing us with her expert advice for everyone from Millennials striking out on dating apps to married couples looking to spice things up in the bedroom. Here’s some of her best advice on some of the more modern dating problems she’s dispensed with recently, from the “ghosting phenomenon” to whether or not one-night stands are a good thing.
Dr. Ruth on ghosting:
If you haven’t heard the term yet, it describes the terrible trend of disappearing from someone’s life instead of having the courage and courtesy to tell them you want to break up—and it’s everywhere. In an interview with LAT Entertainment, Dr. Ruth made it very clear that while she’s totally on board with all the apps, she does not approve of ghosting.
“I’ll tell you what I’m very worried about these days… loneliness,” she said. “Loneliness of young people, loneliness of older people.” As usual, she’s right. Loneliness is no longer a problem reserved for the elderly. In fact, a recent study found that people between the ages of 18 and 22 are the loneliest of all age groups in America, a worrying statistics that many attribute to the rise of social media and bad dating practices.
You asked. She answered. Sex therapist Dr. Ruth addresses your questions about ghosting, dry spells in a marriage and… if those in their 90s stay sexually active 😳 https://t.co/RmF7nljkdk #AskDrRuth #Sundance pic.twitter.com/C7SinfYlZQ
— LAT Entertainment (@latimesent) January 27, 2019
Dr. Ruth on dry spells:
In the video above, she also answered why so many married people stop having sex once they’ve had kids—and how to fix that.
“It’s not true that they don’t have sex anymore, but it is true that it’s more difficult, because the baby cries, the teenagers…never go to sleep, so you have to stick your finger with a pin to stay awake to have sex,” she said. “We have to teach people to make an opportunity, whenever it is possible, to have a good sexual relationship.”
Dr. Ruth on one-night-stands:
Sorry, Dr. Ruth does not approve. “I’m old-fashioned and a square,” she joked. “I don’t want one-night stands.” She’s got a good reason for it as well. “I don’t want to see a rise in sexually transmitted diseases. I don’t want to see a rise in AIDS. I lost too many friends to AIDS to take that lightly.”
Again, Dr. Ruth is right (and already a little too late). Recent data from the CDC indicates that there’s been a massive increase in STDs and STIs in the last few years; between 2013 and 2017, gonorrhea diagnoses went up 67 percent, and syphilis diagnoses rose by 76 percent. A recent survey of 18-34 year olds by Cosmopolitan found that 50 percent of them said they “never” use condoms and another 65 percent said they didn’t use one the last time they had sex.
In an interview with Variety, Dr. Ruth expanded on the now-controversial opinion that people shouldn’t have one-night stands, saying she believed they led to “lots of problems and loneliness.” She also says that, thanks to the rise of tech addiction, people are losing the ability to have conversations and communicate with one another. And, yes, she has an iPhone.
— Variety (@Variety) January 26, 2019
Also, she ends virtually every single interview by reminding everyone that she’d really, really like an Oscar nod. She’s certainly earned it!
And if you’re not doing so already, you should seriously consider following her on Twitter.
Many of you are going to be stuck indoors this weekend because of storms. If you have a partner & don’t want to cause a pregnancy, make sure you have enough condoms!
— Dr. Ruth Westheimer (@AskDrRuth) January 18, 2019
Looking for more inspiration to ignite your libido? Check out The Surprising Added Benefit of Having Sex.
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