The 30 Funniest Celebrity Books

Meet the least-boring reads of all time.

Books written by celebrities can be hit or miss. Especially for celebrities who aren't famous for writing books. Being an author is tough work, after all, and just having a recognizable name or face doesn't necessarily cut it in the publishing world.

But then there's the other type of celebrity book: The one you can't put down. The one that's actually funny, that makes you laugh out loud. Those are harder to come by, but they're out there, trust us. And when you find them, you remember why cozying up with a good book is still a better way to spend an evening than almost anything else. For more must-read books, check out the 40 Books Every Man Over 40 Should Have on His Bookshelf.

Paddle Your Own Canoe: One Man's Fundamentals for Delicious Living, by Nick Offerman

nick offerman book funniest Celebrity Books

BEST LINE: "I eat a bunch of spinach, but only to clean out my pipes to make room for more ribs, fool!"

We were already huge fans of the Parks and Recreation star, but this book just sent our Offerman adoration into the stratosphere. In these pages, he demonstrates how to be a better man — one who can do his own woodworking, can drive somewhere without a GPS, and can subsist entirely on a diet of barbecued pork ribs. And for more on our favorite actor in Parks and Recreation, read up on the 30 Funniest Jokes From Parks and Recreation.

$18; buy now on Amazon

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns), by Mindy Kaling

mindy kaling funniest Celebrity Books

BEST LINE: "There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it."

We're not sure we're buying Mindy's arguments on why guys should wear more peacoats, or why Pierce Brosnan's chest hair is the best. But even when we're not agreeing with the Mindy Project star, she leaves us in stitches. Even if this book had been published with her original idea for a title — When Your Boyfriend Fits Into Your Jeans and Other Atrocities — it'd still be in our library. And for more laughs, check out the 30 Funniest Sitcom Characters Of All Time.

$9; buy now on Amazon

I Can't Make This Up, by Kevin Hart

Kevin Hart funniest Celebrity Books

BEST LINE: "You need a teacher, because those who can't do, teach. So if you wanna learn something, go to someone who can't do it…. I think I wrote this one wrong."

It's impossible to read this book without hearing Kevin Hart's voice in your head. The stand-up and movie star could read the phone book and make it funny, so this collection of essays (or "life lessons") was pretty certain to make us laugh from start to finish. And for more laughs, check out these 30 Hilarious Jokes Found in Non-Comedy Movies. 

$15; buy now on Amazon

The Princess Diarist, by Carrie Fisher

carrie fisher funniest Celebrity Books

BEST LINE: "Because what can you do with people that like you, except, of course, inevitably disappoint them?"

We'll admit, we original picked up this 2016 memoir by Princess Leia… er, we mean Carrie Fisher… to hear about her affair with Han Solo… um, we mean Harrison Ford. We got that, and so much more. Fisher was the real deal, which makes her death in 2016 all the more tragic. "If anyone reads this when I have passed to the big bad beyond I shall be posthumorously embarrassed," she writes. "I shall spend my entire afterlife blushing." We've never wanted to believe in heaven more. And for more must-have reads, here are the 40 Books Every Woman Over 40 Should Own. 

$18; buy now on Amazon

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea, by Chelsea Handler

chelsea handler funniest Celebrity Books

BEST LINE: "I have no doubt that my mother's pregnancy with me was an accident. Mostly because on several occasions, she told me I was an accident."

The Judy Blume-inspired title is just one reason we love this collection of essays and stories by the comedian and late night host. From her obsession with little people to pretending to have an affair with her dad to get a first class upgrade on a flight, her tales are always entertaining and jaw-dropping, and may even make you think, "Hey, I guess my life isn't so bad after all." And for more laughs, know that This Woman's Joke About Getting Older Will Make Your Day. 

$6; buy now on Amazon

Food: A Love Story, by Jim Gaffigan

Jim Gaffigan funniest Celebrity Books

BEST LINE: "I'm convinced that anyone who doesn't like Mexican food is a psychopath."

What makes a comedian like Jim Gaffigan qualified to write about the complicated human relationship with food? As he explains: "I'm a little fat. If a thin guy were to write about a love of food and eating I'd highly recommend that you do not read his book." Works for us. And if you're feeling a little portly these days, here are the 30 Best Ways to Lose Weight at Work. 

$13; buy now on Amazon

The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee, by Sarah Silverman

sarah silverman funniest Celebrity Books

BEST LINE: "I am diagnosed with not having enough insanely-addictive drugs coursing through my body."

Silverman's 2011 memoir is a coming-of-age story. She speaks frankly about her struggle with chronic bed-wetting, and makes the heroic story of how she overcame it both beautiful and (as with anything Silverman touches) so very, very funny.

$18; buy now on Amazon

I Am America (And So Can You!), by Stephen Colbert

stephen colbert funniest Celebrity Books

BEST LINE: "There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good."

This 2009 book just reminds us of how much we miss "Stephen Colbert", the character once played by actor and talk-show host Stephen Colbert. But we'll always have this book as a reminder that Stephen Colbert — not him, the other one — was once there to remind us (with ironic enthusiasm), "Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth." And for more from Colbert, check out the 30 Funniest Celebrity Commercials. 

$3; buy now on Amazon

Seinlanguage, by Jerry Seinfeld

jerry seinfeld funniest Celebrity Books

BEST LINE: "A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it."

There's a reason why Seinfeld ruled the 90s (and the 80s, for that matter.) He was just that funny. This 1994 book of essays is like an encyclopedia of Seinfeld's best bits and observations. For more from his "show about nothing," here are the 30 Funniest Sitcom Jokes of All Time. 

$13; buy now on Amazon

Mother. Wife. Sister. Human. Warrior. Falcon. Yardstick. Turban. Cabbage, by Rob Delaney

rob delaney funniest Celebrity Books

BEST LINE: "Children give terrible gifts because they are poor."

Whether you know Delaney from his Amazon series, Catastrophe, or his Twitter feed, which is quite literally the best thing to happen to the Internet since wireless connections, this book is a must-own. It's more than just a memoir about binge drinking and fart jokes. It's the story of one man's quest to overcome depression and become the funniest person being retweeted by millions of strangers of his generation.

$10; buy now on Amazon 

Unqualified, by Anna Faris

Anna faris funniest Celebrity Books

BEST LINE: "If your closest friends stop showing up to your barbecues, you're probably in a bad relationship."

We knew Anna Faris was funny — her leading role on CBS's Mom and 40-plus movies like The House Bunny and My Super Ex-Girlfriend showed us that — but we didn't know she was also such a funny writer. Her 2017 memoir Unqualified has more genuine laughs than most stand-up's memoirs, with hilarious details about her marriage to (now ex) Chris Pratt, her plastic surgeries, and how to bribe a boy with ice cream. And for more from Faris, don't miss the 30 Funniest Tweets About Parenting. 

$16; buy now on Amazon

Cruel Shoes by Steve Martin

steve martin funniest Celebrity Books

BEST LINE: "I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks."

If you call yourself a comedy fan and you haven't read Steve Martin's gut-busting collection of stories and essays, you need to stop everything and go find it immediately. The Cruel Shoes title comes from one of those stories, about a "hideous" pair of shoes filled with painful curves and "razor blades to hold the foot in place," all in the name of fashion.

$3; buy now on Amazon

Bossypants, by Tina Fey

Bossypants Books funniest Celebrity Books

BEST LINE: "It is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don't like something, it is empirically not good. I don't like Chinese food, but I don't write articles trying to prove it doesn't exist."

As if we needed another reason to love the 30 Rock star. The thing about Tina Fey is, she's not just hilarious, every joke in this 2011 collection crackles with wisdom.

$8; buy now on Amazon

Sick in the Head: Conversations About Life and Comedy, by Judd Apatow

Judd Apatow funniest Celebrity Books

BEST LINE: "Life is ridiculous, so why not be a good guy? That may be the only religion I have to this day."

The Knocked Up director talks to some of his favorite comedians, like Mel Brooks, Jon Stewart, Harold Ramis, and Chris Rock, about life and comedy and the things that make them laugh. This is like sitting backstage with your favorite comics and eavesdropping as they shoot the breeze about anything and everything.

$14; buy now on Amazon 

My Mother Was Nuts, by Penny Marshall

penny marshall funniest Celebrity Books

BEST LINE: "One night I'm at a basketball game, the next I'm being held up by armed ninjas."

Penny Marshall — or as you probably know her better, Laverne from Laverne & Shirley — knows how to spin a Hollywood yarn that'll make you drop to the floor with laughter. She dishes on everything from starring as "woman with dandruff" in a Head & Shoulders commercials to becoming the first female director to make a movie (Big starring Tom Hanks) that grossed $100 million in profits. It has what must be the funniest story about driving a motorcycle across Europe with Art Garfunkel we've ever read. And for more laughs, don't miss the 75 Jokes So Bad They're Actually Funny. 

$26; buy now on Amazon

The Bassoon King: Art, Idiocy, and Other Sordid Tales from the Band Room, Rainn Wilson

rainn wilson funniest Celebrity Books

BEST LINE: "As if the bassoon, xylophone and science-fiction obsession wasn't enough, I then took up an interest in chess. It's as if the sirens of dweebdom lured me inexorably into their pimply lair, from which I never really returned."

The guy who played Dwight from The Office has had one heckuva life outside of TV. He shares all the gritty details, from doing drugs in New York during the 80s to rediscovering his Baha'i faith in recent years, and he does it all with the effortless wit we've come to expect from the actor.

$19; buy now on Amazon

The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo, by Amy Schumer

amy schumer funniest Celebrity Books
Simon & Schuster

BEST LINE: "If you're a true introvert, other people are basically energy vampires."

Amy Schumer's sense of humor is not everybody's taste, but we thought this 2017 collection of non-fiction stories about her life was both hilarious and vulnerable. In the 35 chapters — one for each year of Schumer's life — she writes about her dad's multiple sclerosis and her often wacky sex life, among other topics. Bonus: You won't believe which famous person Schumer is actually married to. 

$12; buy now on Amazon 

I Don't Know What You Know Me From: Confessions of a Co-Star, by Judy Greer

judy greer funniest Celebrity Books

BEST LINE: "I'm on a steady diet of Subway, red wine, and NyQuil."

Judy Greer is used to being recognized by people who swear they saw her in something, even if they can't remember what it is. She's been in over 100 movies and TV shows, from Arrested Development and Two and a Half Men to The Wedding Planner and 13 Going on 30. Naturally, she's got a lot of stories, and she shares them all with a finely-tuned sense of humor.

$15; buy now on Amazon

Based on a True Story: Not a Memoir, by Norm Macdonald

norm macdonal funniest Celebrity Books

BEST LINE: "Death is a funny thing. Not funny haha, like a Woody Allen movie, but funny strange, like a Woody Allen marriage."

The one time Saturday Night Live Weekend Update anchor is like a one-man gag machine, and fans of his absurdist one-liners will find plenty here to enjoy. At times self-deprecating — on his relationship with audiences, he claims "They either hate you or they don't completely hate you" — he keeps you guessing which parts of his memoir are true and which are complete fabrication. "I was a hick," he write, "born to the barren, rocky soil of the Ottawa Valley, where the richest man in town was the barber." Not really, but it's funny nonetheless.

$19; buy now on Amazon

The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl, by Issa Rae

issa rae funniest Celebrity Books

BEST LINE: "If I could go back in time and slap all of the idiocy out of my mouth, I would be a busy time traveler."

Based on her wildly popular web series by the same name, Issa Rae overshares all the awkward and spit-your-coffee funny tales from her life, from her fear of being watched while she eats in public to cybersex in the early days of the Internet. "I don't want to die alone," she admits at one particularly funny chapter. "but spending quality time with myself 60 to 70 percent of the day is my idea of mecca."

$10; buy now on Amazon 

Yes Please, by Amy Poehler

yes please amy poehler funniest Celebrity Books

BEST LINE: "Telling me to relax or smile when I'm angry is like bringing a birthday cake into an ape sanctuary. You're just asking to get your nose and genitals bitten off."

We've loved Poehler since Parks and Recreation, and her debut book of comedic essays just confirmed our devotion. Equal parts hilarious and uplifting, she's not just the funniest person alive, she's also a fundamentally good soul. It's rare when you finish a book with a gut that aches from laughter and the inspiration to be a better person.

$13; buy now on Amazon

I Like You Just the Way I Am, by Jenny Mollen

jenny mollen funniest Celebrity Books

BEST LINE: "Reading your ex's horoscope every week isn't going to help you control his life. No, you need to hide in his bushes, break into his email, or kidnap his dog if you want to effect any real change."

Actress Jenny Mollen describes her book as "an assortment of stories about not doing the right thing." She may be right about that. The co-stars of TV stars like Angel mocks her desire to be loved by everyone — friends, strangers, ex-boyfriends, dogs — to cringe-worthy anecdotes like the time she stalked her therapist and her disastrous hosting of the worst bachelorette party of all time.

$8; buy now on Amazon

Zombie Spaceship Wasteland, by Patton Oswalt

patton oswalt funniest Celebrity Books

BEST LINE: "People will find transformation and transcendence in a McDonald's hash brown if it's all they've got."

This isn't your standard stand-up comic's memoir. It's the true story of one spectacular nerd, Patton Oswalt, and his many geeky obsessions while growing up. There are chapters devoted to Dungeons & Dragons and Star Wars, and if your reaction is "just one chapter for each? That's not enough," this is definitely the humor book for you.

$1; buy now on Amazon

Autobiography, by Morrissey

morrissey funniest Celebrity Books

BEST LINE: "David [Bowie] quietly tells me, 'You know, I've had so much sex and drugs that I can't believe I'm still alive,' and I loudly tell him, 'You know, I've had SO LITTLE sex and drugs that I can't believe I'm still alive."

Rock star autobiographies are rarely laugh riots, but the Smiths frontman writes about his life with the same acerbic wit and poetic cynicism he's used so effectively in his songs.

$25; buy now on Amazon

My First Five Husbands, by Rue McClanahan

rose mcClanahan funniest Celebrity Books

BEST LINE: "Dumbbells are pretty easy to come by, but since many of them are married, I suggest lifting weights."

She played Blanche Devereaux on The Golden Girls, but if her book is to be believed, that sitcom wasn't half as funny as McClanahan's many relationships with men. Looking back at the photos of her second marriage, she writes, "We looked happy. Much like smiling travelers waving from the deck of the departing Titanic."

$4; buy now on Amazon

Moab Is My Washpot, by Stephen Fry

stephen fry funniest Celebrity Books

BEST LINE: "[Love] without smiling is as sickly and as base as vodka and tonic without ice."

The British author and star of such shows as Blackadder, as well as the voice-over on all seven Harry Potter audio books, recounts the first 20 years of his life in rural England, where he was the polar opposite of a well-behaved, obedient boy. As one of Fry's teachers said of him: "for colossal nerve, for sheer, ruddy cheek, I have never met anyone to match you."

$12; buy now on Amazon

Dolly: My Life and Other Unfinished Business, by Dolly Parton

dolly parton funniest Celebrity Books

BEST LINE: "It takes a lot of time and money to look this cheap, honey."

You don't have to love her music to admire Dolly Parton. It's impossible to read this memoir, full of country wisdom and Appalachian Mountain wit, without hearing it in Dolly's distinctive Southern accent. It's dang near impossible!

$1; buy now on Amazon

Too Fat to Fish, by Artie Lange

artie lange funniest Celebrity Books

BEST LINE: "You haven't lived till you've played Scrabble in a psych ward."

It's honestly a miracle that Artie Lange lived long enough to write this book, a harrowing (and hilarious) account of his drug-fueled, self-hating rise from MadTV cast member to regular on Howard Stern's radio show. He has an amazing ability to tell a story that's equal parts heartbreaking and wildly comical. Are those tears from laughter or crying? It's impossible to say.

$4; buy now on Amazon 

Attempting Normal, by Marc Maron

marc maron funniest Celebrity Books

BEST LINE: "That's the big challenge of life—to chisel disappointment into wisdom so people respect you and you don't annoy your friends with your whining."

If you've listened to any of Maron's podcasts, you already know he has a talent for confessional, hilarious tales. But this 2014 book takes us even deeper into his manic brain. Only Maron can share a story about losing his virginity to the waitress in a bagel store and make it utterly relatable, even as you're cringing at the details.

$4; buy now on Amazon

Brain Droppings, by George Carlin

george carlin funniest Celebrity Books

BEST LINE: "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid."

We saved the best for last. The late, great George Carlin wasn't just a comedian. He was a poet, a philosopher, and without a doubt the funnier person to ever put pen to paper. There's a laugh on every page, and just as often a reason to pause and reconsider the things in life you never think twice about. For more laughs, don't miss This Is The Best Way to Make Anyone Laugh.

$12; buy now on Amazon

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