30 Funniest Jokes in Popular Songs
"Just call me Cleopatra, everybody, 'cause I'm the queen of denial."
Music is there for you when you're happy, or sad, or celebrating. It can also be there for you when you're in need of a laugh. Of course, not every songwriter has the talent—or the inclination—to make a hilarious song, but when they do, the results are laugh-out-loud funny. Indeed, you don't think of songwriters as comedians. But a deep dive into the oeuvres of certain musicians will reveal a surprising amount of clandestine hilarity. Herein, a few times where somebody decided to have a little fun with their lyrics, straight-up knocking it out of the park in the humor department. And for more hilarity, check out 50 Knock Knock Jokes Guaranteed to Crack You Up.
1
Garth Brooks, "Two of a Kind, Workin' on a Full House"
"Yeah, we're two of a kind, workin' on a full house."
Country music has always been a great source of humor. For more, check out the 30 Funniest Lines from Country Songs.
2
The Smiths, "The Queen Is Dead"
"She said, 'Eh, I know you, and you cannot sing' I said, 'That's nothing: you should hear me play piano.'"
If this type corniness is up your alley, you need to know 50 Dad Jokes So Bad They're Actually Hilarious.
3
Drake, "Miss Me"
"Yes, I am Weezy, but I ain't asthmatic."
Lil Wayne (AKA Weezy), excels at cracking jokes lyrically, which is why he's earned a spot on the 30 Funniest Rap Lyrics.
4
The Lonely Island, "I Threw It on the Ground"
"At the farmer's market with my so-called girlfriend. She hands me her cell phone, says it's my dad. Man, this ain't my dad! This is a cell phone."
5
Billy Bragg, "The Saturday Boy"
"I never made the first team. I just made the first team laugh"
6
Tom Lehrer, "We Will All Go Together When We Go"
"We will all go together when we go, all suffuse with an incandescent glow. No one will have the endurance to collect on his insurance. Lloyd's of London will be loaded when they go."
7
Pam Tillis, "Cleopatra, Queen of Denial"
"Just call me Cleopatra, everybody, 'cause I'm the queen of denial."
If you take delight in jokes like this, check out 50 Puns So Bad They're Actually Funny.
8
The Bellamy Brothers, "If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body"
"If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"
If you're looking for some pick-up lines of your own, try out the 50 Pick-Up Lines So Cheesy They Might Actually Work.
9
George Jones, "The Lone Ranger"
"I had more silver bullets last night than the Lone Ranger."
10
Weird Al, "Jackson Park Express"
"I would make any sacrifice for your love — goat, chicken, whatever."
11
The Beatles, "Act Naturally"
"They're gonna put me in the movies, they're gonna make a big star out of me. We'll make a film about a man that's sad and lonely, and all I gotta do is act naturally."
12
The Magnetic Fields, "Papa Was a Rodeo"
"I see that kiss-me pucker forming, but maybe you should plug it with a beer."
13
Flight of the Conchords, "Most Beautiful Girl in the Room"
"And when you're on the street, depending on the street, I bet you are definitely in the top three good-looking girls on the street."
14
SNAP!, "Rhythm Is a Dancer"
"I'm serious as cancer when I say rhythm is a dancer."
15
Nick Jonas, "Introducing Me"
"I eat cheese, but only on pizza, please. Sometimes, on a homemade quesadilla. Otherwise it smells like feet to me."
16
Hoyt Axton, "Bony Fingers"
"Work your fingers to the bone. What do ya get? Bony fingers!"
17
Ween, "Ocean Man"
"Ocean man, the voyage to the corner of the globe is a real trip."
18
Randy Newman, "Short People"
"They got little baby legs that stand so low you got to pick 'em up just to say hello."
19
Eminem, "Under the Influence"
"Once you're hung from the drapes, it's curtains."
20
Des'ree, "Life"
"I don't want to see a ghost. It's the sight that I fear most. I'd rather have a piece of toast. Watch the evening news."
21
Black Eyed Peas, "Boom Boom Pow"
"I'm so 3008, you're so 2000, and late."
22
Childish Gambino, "Freaks and Geeks"
"Took the G out of your waffle, all you got left is your ego."
23
Big L, "7 Minute Freestyle"
"I'm so ahead of my time my parents haven't met yet."
24
Panic! At the Disco, "Don't Threaten Me With a Good Time"
"I've told you time and time again, I'm not as think as you drunk I am."
25
Stephen Lynch, "Grandfather"
"Oh Grandfather, don't hold on another day. I love you to death, but I've gots bills to pay."
26
Chris Janson, "Buy Me a Boat"
"I know everybody says money can't buy happiness. But it could buy me a boat. It could buy me a truck to pull it"
27
Avril Lavigne, "Hello Kitty"
"Let's all slumber party, like a fat kid on a pack of Smarties"
28
Tim Minchin, "Drowned"
"Your love is like one last breath of salty air. Your love is like a map that leads to nowhere, a wine glass on a concrete floor, the overuse of metaphor."
29
Rob Cantor, "Shia LaBoeuf"
"You're walking in the woods. There's no one around, and your phone is dead. Out of the corner of your eye you spot him, Shia LaBeouf."
30
Jarvis Cocker, "Leftovers"
"I met her in the museum of paleontology, and I make no bones about it."
If groaners like this tickle your funny bone, don't miss 75 Jokes That Are So Bad They're Actually Funny.
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