6 Ways to Rekindle Your Sex Life After 50, According to Experts
Once you feel confident about your own sexuality, you can share that with your partner.
The older we get, the easier it is to get stuck in routines rather than explore something new. This is true for everything from our meals to what we watch on TV to our sex life. When it comes to intimacy, relying on the same positions and foreplay habits could mean there's a lack of passion and pleasure—and it could be causing unwanted tension outside of the bedroom. But don't feel discouraged: There are plenty of ways to reignite the spark. We spoke to sex and relationship experts to find out the best ways to rekindle your sex life after 50. Read on for a more enjoyable and exciting sex life.
Love and appreciate your body.
Your body isn't going to be the same as it was when you were younger, and that's OK! While it can be difficult to accept sometimes, your body is beautiful no matter how old you are, and the first step to a better sex life is owning that with confidence.
Lara Pack, CEO and founder of pleasure product company Elixir Play, suggests wearing something that incites a positive reaction about your body. "Maybe it's lingerie, maybe it's a gorgeous dress, or maybe it's some new shoes," she says.
The sexier you feel, the more comfortable you'll be in the bedroom. And we all know how sexy confidence is.
Start sexual meditation.
Meditation is beneficial in multiple ways, especially when it comes to letting go of excess stress and centering yourself. Though feeling relaxed is a benefit when it comes to sex, meditation might be able to do more than just calm you down.
Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, PhD, sex and relationship expert and host of the podcast Luvbites by Dr. Tara, recommends sexual meditation for couples over 50. "Close your eyes, get naked, sit quietly in a comfortable space, and feel the sensations in different parts of your body."
You can certainly lead your own meditation journey, but Suwinyattichaiporn has free guided meditations on Youtube. If you're comfortable with it, this is also an experience you can share with your partner.
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Communicate with your partner.
It's important to keep the line of communication open as you and your partner try new things and grow in your sexual relationship. Pack encourages people to let their partners know what they actually enjoy. "Go slow and find what feels good," she says. Vocalizing this pleasure can be as simple as a moan.
Lee Phillips, LCSW, certified sex and couples therapist, explains that there's no set formula for each person or couple. "Sex also ends when you want it to end, and it may look different each time you have it." Don't feel ashamed to tell your partner that something that was pleasurable last week no longer is.
Add in some sexting.
Sexting can increase the anticipation of being intimate with a partner. It's also something that, if you're over 50, you probably didn't do at the beginning of your relationship.
"Doing something different and edgy can create excitement which in turn fosters more opportunities for arousal," Suwinyattichaiporn says. You can be as subtle as sending a few romantic emojis, or you can take it up a notch by sending photos (just be sure your phone doesn't get into the wrong hands!).
Try new positions or use toys.
Having sex is all about the pleasure you and your partner feel. If something isn't working or it's not making you feel good, then is it really worth it? Phillips explains that orgasm is a bonus, but it is not required to have a great time. Sex may include all body parts and accessories; it just depends on what you and your partner prefer.
"I recommend liberator.com where you can find the best sex toys and sex furniture; for example, you may need to use a sex pillow to feel more comfortable, or get more creative with your partner," Phillips says.
Remember, it's important to communicate to your partner what you may want to try in the bedroom.
Understand you might need help.
When you get older, your hormones change, and this affects your libido and body—but it's nothing to be ashamed of.
For example, how lubricated you are isn't a test of your sexuality, it's the result of your biological makeup. "Lube is your best friend," says Pack. "Think about the difference if you go down a waterslide that has water, versus when it doesn't. Our bodies are the same."
Likewise, if you or your partner finds that it takes longer to get aroused, talk about what will get you in the mood instead of avoiding the conversation.