10 Hilarious Stories of Quarantine Texts From Exes
Have you texted your ex during the coronavirus pandemic?
If you've dated before, you've almost definitely received a text from an ex at some point in your life. But with the COVID-19 pandemic keeping us inside and anxious, people have been turning to their exes more than usual. Maybe it's all the uncertainty of the moment—or maybe people just think the coronavirus is the perfect excuse to check in on an old flame. Whatever the reason, it's safe to say there is also a "texting your ex" epidemic taking over the world right now. We've rounded up some real-life stories of people receiving quarantine texts from exes (and some sending ex texts of their own). The results are, understandably, mixed—but hilarious. And for more reasons to laugh right now, check out these 12 Dark Coronavirus Jokes From Twitter That'll Make You Chuckle.
The woman who decided to quarantine with her ex when he texted
Perhaps quarantine is bringing people back together… for good? One New York City resident told Best Life that her on-again, off-again ex of four years texted her randomly when the coronavirus panic set it, even though they hadn't spoke since November. Now she's quarantining with him at his family's house in the Hamptons. And for more ways people are getting through quarantine, here are 13 Funny Quarantine Videos and Photos of People Entertaining Themselves.
The ex who texted about getting food—before fate stepped in
One Twitter user shared that their ex had reached out about wanting to meet up for lunch or dinner soon because of everything going on with the pandemic. The very next day, however, their state restricted restaurants from serving people inside. Call that perfect timing!
The high school ex who texted despite having a girlfriend
Just a heads up: If you're texting your ex while still in a relationship, you're not smooth. One Pittsburgh-based woman told Best Life that while she and her high school ex had a "brief rekindling" four years ago, she doesn't speak to him unless he randomly pops back up after breaking up with a girlfriend.
However, coronavirus must have people breaking all their usual "standards." She says he texted out of the blue during the pandemic, but that he is still dating his current girlfriend. He even messaged her three times in a row, because he thought she was mad at him since he hadn't heard from her. Safe to assume he's quarantining with his girlfriend while firing off those texts?
The ex who tried to get free labor out of the pandemic
LA-based writer Ginny Hogan tweeted out that when she tried to "sexy text" an ex she hadn't spoken to in two years, things went very wrong. He told her he had contracted COVID-19, so when she asked if there was anything she could do to help, he sent her "a 60k-word draft of his novel for notes." Yikes!
The ex who sent pictures of his dog
Don't use your animals as bait! One college student in South Carolina told Best Life that she had three of her exes reach out amid the coronavirus anxiety. The worst one? The ex who started sending her pictures of his dog since he knows she's "an animal lover." If that's the only way you think your ex will reply, don't text your ex.
The woman who texted her ex and got reprimanded in return
As much as one Twitter user thought the pandemic was the perfect time to check up on her ex, it seems it wasn't. Her text was met with a reply from the ex blaming her for telling the ex not to buy a Nintendo Switch.
"I'm thinking about that one time I called you wondering if buying a Switch and Pokémon was a good or bad impulse buy and you said don't do it and now … look at how the situation has unfolded," they replied. To be fair, a Switch would be helpful in the current situation, and they've sold out worldwide. So maybe the ex is right to be mad?
The ex who suspiciously just wanted to be "friends again"
If you haven't received an "I just want to be friends again" text from an ex, you haven't lived. And it seems some exes think a pandemic is the perfect time to pull that line out of their pocket. One woman who recently moved to Washington, D.C. told Best Life she got a rather "odd" text from a former D.C. flame she hadn't spoken to in almost three years at the end of March, asking how the city was "treating" her.
She'd only been living there for two months at that point, which her ex knew because they're friends on Facebook. And when she didn't respond to what she suspected was a "bored quarantine" text, he hit her with the, "We were friends once, and I would like for us to be friends again" line. Her response? "There's a pandemic outside… nobody is making new friends at this time."
The ex who never got a response
What's more embarrassing than texting your ex? Texting your ex and not getting a response. One U.K.-based Twitter user tweeted out a cheeky "Sorry phone died" text she sent to her ex during the pandemic, three years after their last text. However, 12 hours later, she had to live with that fact that her ex probably wasn't going to reply. Perhaps they got a new number!
The man who got unblocked after five years
One man who moved to NYC at the beginning of this year told Best Life he wasn't fazed when an ex he hadn't spoken to in years didn't congratulate him on the move. After all, he had been blocked by the ex on all social media for about five years. However, once things started getting serious with the coronavirus, he said his ex messaged him "out of the blue" to congratulate him on the move, unblocking him on all platforms. Odd timing!
The ex who won the game
It's fine to think about texting your ex during the coronavirus pandemic. But it's probably better when you don't do it. And TV writer Jess Dweck found out it's best when you resist the urge to text your ex, and then they break down and text you first. "Whatever happens, remember that I won the pandemic," she tweeted out. And for more ways to make the most out of social distancing, try these 9 Genius Ways to Mix Up Your Daily Routine During Quarantine.