"Golden Bachelors" Are the Most In-Demand Dates, New Data Shows
Relationshp experts reveal their top tips for landing a quality older man.
If watching the charming debut season of The Golden Bachelor motivated you to find love later in life, you're not alone. A new DateMyAge survey revealed that 70 percent of 50+ singles are interested in meeting someone, and more than half of adults in that same age group are online dating specifically to connect with a long-term partner.
But these statistics aren't all that surprising, experts say. After all, according to the survey, women are more likely to describe dating experiences with older men as positive—meanwhile, 60 percent of women said their experiences with dating younger men are "overwhelmingly negative."
According to Kimmy Seltzer, a dating strategist, confidence therapist, and host of the Charisma Quotient podcast, there are several reasons for this phenomenon, including changing social norms, de-stigmatizing of senior dating, a longer life expectancy, increased divorce rates, and an increased awareness of the value of companionship.
Emma Hathorne, dating expert at Seeking, points out that older adults often have a clearer understanding of their relationship goals.
"Women might feel that older men are more mature, financially stable, and possess a deeper understanding of life," she tells Best Life. "They may also perceive older men as being more respectful and considerate in their approach to dating. There is also the added benefit of older men already being established, and able to provide an upgraded, stable lifestyle."
Searching for your very own golden bachelor? Read on for some expert dating tips.
Make sure you have enough emotional maturity.
According to Amber Brooks, editor-in-chief of DatingAdvice.com, emotional stability, awareness, and maturity can go a long way if you're hoping to date a golden bachelor.
"You'll need to meet him where he's at—in other words, you'll need to bring the same type of value and maturity to the relationship that you expect from an older partner," says Brooks. "He's not likely to have much patience for immature games and passive-aggressive remarks."
Make sure you know how to recognize and express your emotions, self-soothe when you're upset, confront a partner about an issue you're having, and actively listen to them when they're sharing their own frustrations and concerns. This will demonstrate that you're able to communicate in healthy ways and build emotional intimacy. If you're lacking in these areas, consider working with a licensed therapist who can help you build on these skills.
Don't be afraid to go online.
It's easier than ever to meet people you might never otherwise cross paths with—and the best part is, you don't even need to leave home to do it.
"Consider using reputable dating apps or platforms specifically designed for professionals and older singles," says Seltzer. For example, eHarmony, Silver Singles, SeniorMatch, OurTime, and Match.com are all excellent picks for anyone over 50.
"Be sure to create a compelling and authentic dating profile that showcases your interests, values, and what you're looking for in a partner," Seltzer suggests.
Join a club to find like-minded people.
Rather than hitting a local bar, experts advise joining a club where you can meet someone with similar hobbies and interests.
"This not only provides a foundation for connection but also ensures that you have activities to enjoy together—thus aiming for a deeper and more specific compatibility," says Chris Gillis, a personalized relationship and image consultant, and cohost of the podcast Dating With Dignity.
For example, if you love reading, Gillis suggests looking for a local or online book club. Or, if you like to stay active, Hathorne recommends finding a local club with tennis, squash, or pickleball—or taking up golf.
"Consider attending industry-specific conferences, seminars, or workshops related to your field," adds Seltzer. "These events can be great places to meet successful and ambitious individuals. Or, engage in volunteer work for charitable causes that matter to you. Golden bachelors often appreciate individuals who are compassionate and giving."
Move things offline ASAP.
If you do meet someone you're interested in online, experts advise scheduling an in-person date as soon as you feel comfortable doing so.
"Seniors just aren't as happy to spend inordinate amounts of time online corresponding with their matches," explains Gillis. This way, you don't waste too much of each other's time if it turns out you're not compatible.
"Mature daters tend to know what they want in life and don't have patience for playing games and wasting time with casual dating," adds Brooks. "It might be a nice short-term thrill for some, but the majority of senior daters have been in a long-term relationship or marriage before, and they know the value that such a partnership can bring."
According to the DateMyAge survey, seniors are ready to meet in real life just three days after sparking up a convo with a match.
"This is much quicker than millennials, who typically wait two weeks to take things offline," says Gillis.
Be open about your intentions.
One major difference in dating as you get older is that you recognize how precious time is. That's why Gillis recommends clearly communicating what you're looking for at the get-go: "This helps in finding someone who shares similar relationship goals, whether it's casual dating or a serious commitment."
It might feel nerve-wracking to be so forthcoming about your desires and expectations, but if you find a golden bachelor, odds are he'll appreciate your transparency.
Become the person you want to attract.
Seltzer suggests focusing more on building up your own self-worth and honing the value that you can bring to a relationship before setting lofty standards for what you want in a partner.
"This includes staying physically fit, dressing well, and maintaining good grooming habits," she says. "Confidence and self-assuredness go a long way in attracting the right partner."
According to Seltzer, participating in activities you're passionate about can also make you more appealing: "A golden bachelor is often drawn to someone who can engage in intelligent, engaging, and interesting conversations."
Leverage your social network.
Finally, don't be afraid to let loved ones know you're interested in meeting a golden bachelor, says Seltzer. Who knows if they might know a single and eligible friend, cousin, or coworker?
"Sharing your goals with others solidifies your own commitment to achieving them," explains Mark Verber, a relationship expert and licensed professional counselor at EPIC Counseling Solutions. "Finding a partner is like finding a job; it helps to have an 'in.' And when you're open about your desires, it's easier to get help from others—for example, help from the tech-savvy grandkids to navigate dating apps."
For more dating advice delivered straight to your inbox, sign up for our daily newsletter.