Ask anyone who’s stayed happily committed to their significant other and they’ll tell you: even the most seemingly-perfect marriages take some significant work to maintain. In fact, sad though it may be, a study published by the National Opinion Research Center in 2015 reveals that just 60 percent of married individuals polled claimed to be happy within the bonds of supposed conjugal bliss.
However, it’s more than just those arguments over what movie to watch or what to have for dinner that could jeopardize your relationship in the long run. In many cases, it’s those day-to-day habits so seemingly innocuous you hardly notice them that could be leading you on the road to ruin. Before you capsize your otherwise happy relationship, make sure you address these 30 things you’re doing that are annoying your husband.
Using the whole house as a clothing line.
While many items of clothing designed for women are more delicate than those made for their male counterparts, the idea that this automatically turns the entire house into a clothesline can make for some contentious conversations. In addition to the unpleasant sensation that accompanies being dripped on by a drying negligee hanging over your staircase banister, on the wrong surfaces, or when done too frequently, treating every part of the house like a drying rack can actually cause structural damage over time.
Taking a long time to get ready.
Whether it’s due to societal pressure, a personal desire to look good, or some combination of the two, it’s no secret that some people simply take forever to get ready and leave the house. And while this may not be a huge deal when you’re heading out on your own, when your husband sees you shaving or trying once again to nail the perfect cat eye when you have a dinner reservation in 10 minutes, don’t be surprised when he’s less than pleased.
Keeping the house at an unbearable temperature.
If you’re secretly dialing up the thermostat a few degrees anytime you get the chance, you’re not alone. In fact, researchers in the Netherlands have found that women are typically more comfortable at temperatures a few degrees warmer than those their male counterparts prefer—and, of course, there are plenty of men in same-sex relationships who aren’t exactly thrilled by their partner’s preference for tundra-like conditions, either. However, if, instead of coming to a compromise (or, heaven forbid, putting on a sweater) you’re just sneakily turning the heat up to 80ºF when your husband’s not looking, well, let’s just say you’ll have an extra item to talk about at couples’ therapy.
Dissing your body.
While it’s totally normal for couples to talk to one another about their diet and exercise habits, if you seem to lack confidence and are constantly criticizing your body, don’t be surprised if your husband’s a little annoyed. After all, this person knew—and loved—your looks before you tied the knot, and hearing someone say hurtful things about the person you love never begets a pleasant experience.
Getting jealous over platonic relationships.
Though it’s natural to occasionally feel a tinge of jealousy when you hear your significant other extol the seemingly endless virtues of a new friend or co-worker, if you’re constantly asking him for details about the relationship or acting like him spending time with him or her is akin to cheating, don’t be surprised when your habit starts to frustrate him. If you can have platonic friends, there’s no reason why he shouldn’t be able to, as well.
Making major purchases without consulting him.
While buying the occasional coffee or filling up your gas tank shouldn’t be the beginning of a major fight for most financially stable couples, if you’re making major purchases without your husband, it should come as little surprise when he grows frustrated by being left out of the loop. And considering that one British survey found money woes to be the single biggest source of stress in most relationships, there’s no time like the present to start clueing your partner in before digging into that joint bank account.
Eating off his plate.
Though many people—women in particular—feel uncomfortable ordering what they actually want, often opting for lower-calorie alternatives instead, that doesn’t automatically make your husband’s plate a backup for when that side salad fails to fill you up. If you really wanted that steak or those fries, you should have ordered it in the first place.
Acting like he doesn’t have feelings, too.
The pressure on men to seem tough and strong—especially when it’s reinforced by their partner—can be a serious burden. Generally speaking, men and women aren’t actually that dissimilar emotionally, and the sooner that’s recognized and you can both have a good cry during a re-watch of Moonlight, the better.
Saying things are okay when they’re clearly not.
It can be difficult for anyone to have a frank conversation about their emotions when they’re feeling upset, but refusing to do so could be putting your marriage in jeopardy. Saying, “I’m fine,” when you really mean, “I’m so frustrated I could explode,” is a serious pet peeve for plenty of husbands—and not exactly a good way to get your needs met, either.
Picking his clothes for him.
Can it be a nice surprise for your husband to come home to a new shirt or accessory that you picked up just because you thought he’d like it? Of course. However, if you’re treating him more like a sentient Ken doll than a human being who might actually think those Thrasher t-shirts and cut-offs look good on him, don’t be surprised when he acts peeved.
It happens to everyone, but in a relationship, if you have a regular habit of losing things—especially those that don’t belong to you—you’re definitely annoying your husband. You may have intended to only borrow that hairbrush or book for a short period of time, but if it turns up missing, don’t be surprised when he winds up annoyed about it.
Taking more than your fair share of closet space.
Many people act as though the closet is their sole domain and that their partner—even if they’re paying 50 percent of the mortgage and are considered an equal in other respects—should occupy as little of the space as possible. Of course, it’s pretty understandable when this seems like a less-than-fair deal to him.
Assuming he’s paying.
You split your mortgage costs, childcare responsibilities, and you’re not in the habit of asking him for grocery money, so why do you assume he’s paying on every date? If you want an equitable relationship—or at least one that isn’t always frustrating for him—it’s time to start going Dutch or taking him out from time to time. If you like being treated to dinner and a movie, it stands to reason he might, too.
Organizing to the point where nothing can be found.
Your organizing habits may be well-intentioned, but if you’re cleaning the house and making virtually everything impossible to find in the process, it’s going to be pretty annoying to the person who’s not clued in to your new system.
Warming up your hands on him.
While you may run colder than your husband, that habit of using him like your personal hand warmer is still probably going to get old fast. After all, it’s not like most people ever think, “Wouldn’t it be nice if someone ruined the comfortably warm temperature I’ve achieved?”
Wearing uncomfortable shoes.
Those heels may look great, but by the end of the night, they’re annoying your husband as much as they’re annoying you. Carrying those heels for you as you stumble around in your stockings, or worse, giving you a piggy-back ride back to the car, probably isn’t exactly how he wanted to spend his night.
Asking about other women’s physical appearance.
Just because your partner gives a passing glance to someone attractive in their line of vision shouldn’t necessarily mean a fight is about to ensue. However, if you keep asking him if he thinks the waitress is prettier than you just because he made eye contact with her while she was taking his order, he’s got some understandable grievances to address.
Refusing to compromise.
More than even communication or chemistry, compromise is what keeps marriages together. So, if you won’t agree to watch even a single Monday Night Football game with him after he’s binged seven seasons of The Great British Bake Off with you, you’re definitely going to be on his list of annoyances before you know it.
Leaving him out when you go out with your friends.
Having a night out with your close friends without your spouse can be a much-needed break. However, it becomes pretty annoying when you act as though your husband’s presence at social events would necessarily ruin things; just because you both like having time with your separate friend groups doesn’t mean that he never wants to get to know your inner circle better, after all.
Insisting he eat your leftovers.
Your husband may have a heartier appetite than you, but that doesn’t mean he’s a human garbage disposal. While it’s nice to be concerned about the amount of food waste you’re producing, to avoid future annoyance, just order a half-portion the next time instead of assuming he’s always still hungry after a meal.
Correcting his driving.
Nobody in the world likes a backseat driver. Just because he doesn’t drive your way doesn’t mean he’s necessarily putting you at risk—although the constant distraction you’re causing by biting your fingernails and yelling “watch out!” every time he changes lanes just might.
Using a million pillows in bed.
Those throw pillows and bolsters may seem like a minor design detail to you, but they’re a major annoyance to your husband. When there’s more space for pillows on the bed than for people, you know you have a problem.
Acting like he doesn’t know how to do basic chores.
Just because you generally take the lead when it comes to cleaning doesn’t mean your husband is necessarily incapable of doing it. While his version of cleaning the counters may not be as meticulous as you’d like it to be, claiming he doesn’t know how to do the work because your ideas of cleanliness don’t necessarily match up can quickly become a major source of annoyance.
Getting upset when texts aren’t immediately returned.
Not everyone keeps their phone out 24/7—but expecting that your husband will just because you do can be majorly annoying to him. And when he checks his phone, only to see that you’ve sent 100 additional messages after not hearing back about the initial one, don’t be surprised when he’s more than a little irritated.
Insisting he change.
While there are some issues worth working on as a couple for the health of your relationship, assuming your husband’s going to make a complete 180º just because you think he should can be a major source of annoyance. His refusal to wear any shoes that aren’t Vans, his relationship with Fortnite, or his desire to only listen to death metal weren’t exactly secrets when you tied the knot, after all.
Asking about his whereabouts 24/7.
If your husband has given you no reason to suspect he’s not where he says he is, you’re probably annoying him when you repeatedly ask where he’s been. While there’s some give and take here—it’s a little strange if he’s not forthcoming about his whereabouts—it’s understandably irritating if he feels like he has to account for every second he spends away from you.
Not speaking up in the bedroom.
If you’re not enjoying yourself in the bedroom and then getting mad about your lack of satisfaction later, that’s sure to irritate your husband over time. If you’re generally on the same page in other areas, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to give a little direction to make the experience better for both of you.
Making decisions without him.
So, you saw a house you loved and are thinking of putting in an offer and telling your husband about it afterward, assuming he’ll feel the same? Yeah, don’t be surprised when he’s not on board—and pretty annoyed, as well.
Talking about your past relationships.
While past relationships may come up from time to time over the course of your marriage, talking incessantly about your exes is sure to become a source of some serious contention. And if you’re comparing your current relationship with your past ones? Don’t be surprised if that annoyance turns to anger fast.
Acting like he’s a guest in your home.
If you’re a married couple living under the same roof, acknowledging that you both live in your home—and, as such, both get to make decisions about it—will serve you well in the long run. Acting as though your husband is simply an annoying visitor allergic to picking up his socks is more likely to have him rushing to call a marriage counselor than changing his ways.