One of the misconceptions about passionate sex is that it derives from the rest of a strong relationship. A couple that listens to each other, respects each other, and shares feelings is, according to conventional wisdom, better able to send each other soaring. But this is another of those chicken-and-egg deals.
Good sex can help create intimacy as surely as it can spring from it. Our culture tends to disrespect the wisdom of our bodies and defer to the far less dependable wisdom of our minds. But our bodies and hungers can connect two people in elemental ways, making them susceptible to each other's spirits. Submitted for your consideration: As surely as a vigorous sex life is a result of a good relationship, it's also a prerequisite for one.
If we lived in a less cynical age, a fellow might argue that monogamy is your best chance at a fevered sex life. A fellow might argue that though it is deprivation of a kind, it's also an invitation to develop expertise, a chance to take pride in knowing that a certain whimper means "just right" and that she prefers feathery in the morning but fortissimo at night. A fellow might feel lucky to recognize a certain cadence of hips and offering of lips. A fellow might be glad that she knows his secrets.
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