When it comes to relationships, language is everything. Just as soon as the wrong phrase can set your lover off, a perfectly worded sentence can also unlock her heart. And while no two women are exactly the same, there are indeed phrases that just about any gal on earth would love to hear. Thirty of them, in fact—we’ve cobbled them all together right here, directly from top relationship experts. And once you’re safely in her good graces, kick up the heat, and whisper to her any of the 13 sexiest things you can say to a woman.
Followed by something very detailed. “Women love specifics,” says Rebecca Burton, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “We know you love us, but why? A little extra thought can make sweet nothings into sweet somethings.”
Sometimes, it’s better to own up to the fact that she’s right and you’re not. Humility is a virtue most women can appreciate. It also wouldn’t hurt to know how to say you’re sorry.
Simple, but effective. “Women want to hear that they are beautiful,” says Melissa Divaris Thompson, a licensed marriage and family therapist in New York City. It might sound shallow, but the reasoning behind it makes sense: “It helps women boost their confidence and feel more loved,” she explains. And we have even more advice on how to impress any woman here.
Women like to hear that you’re committed. Of course, this only works if it’s actually true. “Most women want to hear your commitment to them because that creates security,” explains Wyatt Fisher, Psy.D, a licensed clinical psychologist in Colorado. “When you’re in a conflict and things feel insecure, they need to hear reassurance that you’re in it for the long haul and you’re committed to working things out,” he adds. You should also be sure you know how to make that commitment last forever.
“Women like to hear they are good in bed,” says Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW. Just like men, “they want to know that they are providing pleasure to their partner and that their partner is happy with their sex life.” If you need some tips on spicing things up in the bedroom, learn the 5 ways to have your best sex of all time—tonight.
“Remind her that you are there for her emotionally whenever she needs anything,” recommends Sahar Dorani, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist. “It’s not all about materialistic or financial expressions of love,” she says. You should also check out these secrets of the best relationships.
Questions can be a great tool for establishing intimacy, especially in the early days of a relationship, but also later on. “Your partner is not an extension of you, but an entirely different individual,” notes Anjhula Singh Bais, Ph.D., an international psychologist and author. “There will always be stones unturned, and it’s up to you to find out those things ‘I never knew about you after all these years,’” she explains. “This pulls you closer and often you’ll be surprised at the person sitting across from you, in a pleasant way.” Also, While you’re at it, learn more things women love to hear on a first date.
Hold your eye roll. Sometimes people (men included!) need a little extra reassurance. “Women want to know that even on their worst days, that they’re still beautiful and desirable,” explains Debra Rogers, dating expert and author of the breakup book He Did You a Favor. And this should go without saying, but you should definitely never ask a woman if she’s gained weight.
“Let’s be honest: Communication between the genders can be a minefield,” Burton says. “You’re not always going to get where she’s coming from, but you definitely get points for trying.” Now, here’s even more great advice on how to keep your wife happy.
“Women seek partnerships that encourage their growth, nurture their talents, and allow them to be their best selves,” explains relationship therapist, educator, and author, Shadeen Francis. “It is not enough to talk the talk; women want to see action. Partners who not only commit themselves to this, but actively check in on what their significant other needs and follow-through are very likely to have happy mates.” You can also show your wife your support with these thoughtful gestures.
Followed by your actual emotions. “Women love to hear your intimate thoughts and feelings,” says Fisher. “Men often struggle opening up and sharing their vulnerable side. However, when they do, most women feel extremely close to them.”
Just as women want to hear that you think they’re beautiful, they also specifically love to hear that you find them sexy. As a woman, “you want to know and feel that your partner is attracted to you,” Thompson explains. Just make sure you don’t say any of the phrases never to say to a naked woman.
Showing your partner you actually want her help and value her opinion is a great idea, according to Rogers. It goes a long way toward showing your confidence in her and her abilities.
Easy, right? “This is probably one of the least said and the most-wanted grouping of words women want to hear regularly,” says Christine Baumgartner, dating and relationship coach. So if you’re at that point in your relationship, make sure you say it often and like you mean it. Better yet, there are also easy ways to say “I love you” without saying any words at all.
“Women feel cared about when their partner makes plans for them to do something,” says Baumgartner. Whether you go all out on an ultra-romantic date night or you’re planning to cook dinner and watch a movie at home, showing that you took the time to put together something fun to do as a couple will be highly appreciated. If you did plan a big date night for you and the lady, here’s what you should do beforehand.
“Yes, it’s true that it’s not all about physical beauty, but don’t wait until she’s dolled up in a full face of makeup to make her feel pretty,” says Dorani. In fact, it’s just as important to let her know she’s beautiful when she’s hanging around in yoga pants. “This will reinforce that she does not have to put in an hour of getting ready in order for her beauty to be acknowledged,” she adds.
“Everyone wants to be loved, but more than that, appreciation goes a long way,” says Francis. While it’s great to say thank you as a method of appreciation, Francis also suggests you “spend some time appreciating her for not just what she’s done, but who she is—she will love to hear it.”
Whether you’ve been together for a few weeks or a few decades, women want to hear they are fun to be with, according to Thompson. “Knowing that their partner feels that they are a blast to be around allows women to feel more confident and more settled in their relationship.”
“Even the most independent capable woman sometimes wants to turn over the reins,” Burton says. It’s not about making her feel like she can’t do something, it’s about making her feel like you want to help her out. And speaking of romantic gestures, here’s how to buy the perfect romantic flowers.
Honesty is key in relationships of all lengths. Even if you just started dating, a woman will always appreciate truthfulness.
“If a man listens to a woman talk about her day, she’ll feel more relaxed after talking,” Baumgartner explains. Not only does this show you care, but it also lets her decompress from her day and relieve some pent-up stress.
Baumgartner also points out that if your partner had a frustrating day, it’s best not to try to “fix” any of the problems she had. Instead, empathizing with her experience speaks volumes about your feelings for her.
“Women want to hear that their partner feels comfortable talking openly with them,” Thompson notes. Knowing you feel secure talking to them about any topic, no matter how sensitive, helps establish a deeper trust between you. “It helps build the attachment bond,” she adds. Now, to solidify that attachment bond, here’s how to nail your marriage proposal.
Sometimes, women just want you to take a backseat and listen. If she wants to vent and you can’t do anything to help, just let her get whatever’s bothering her off her chest.
“We are so caught up with pop culture teaching us that romance is everything that we fail to realize that it’s very unrealistic when you aim for what is portrayed in the movies,” says Bais. “A solid foundational base for relationships and especially women in terms of the sexism and misogynistic treatment means that respect is something women consciously crave.” Instead of just telling her she did a good job on something or helped you out in a certain way, explain exactly what you respect about her thought process or the way she makes things happen.
Not in a jealous way, but in a playful way. “This little bit of competition from other guys makes her feel hotter than Megan Fox,” Alex Reddle, an online dating specialist, explains. “By saying this, she feels that you are still eager to conquer and understands you are not the last fish in the sea.”
“Instead of telling your partner what they need to do, try to be more open and flexible,” Rogers suggests. “Ask what she needs. Sometimes women just need to be heard and supported.”
Women want to feel honored for the work they do, whether it’s cleaning, working outside of the home, taking care of children, etc.” says Thompson. Just like men, women want to feel validated that their work is being seen and valued, especially by the person they care about most.
Even if your S.O. isn’t stay-at-home, if you live together, it’s still nice to let her know you appreciate it when she does something around the house. “Tell your lady that you acknowledge and appreciate the hard work she does to maintain the household, whether that’s paying a bill or cleaning the toilet or anything in between,” suggests Dorani. “This helps reinforce that her actions do not go unappreciated.”
“This is the phrase which every woman is ready to hear every day,” says Reddle. It shows devotion and most importantly, genuine love.
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