According to Dr. Harry Fisch, author of the The New Naked: The Ultimate Sex Education for Grownups, an astonishing 45 percent of men climax in two minutes or less when they’re having sex. Combine that with the fact that most women need more than 15 minutes of sexual stimulation to achieve orgasm, and you’re looking at a seriously inconvenient truth.
Luckily, there are a number of things you can do to exert control over your sexual response and stand a better chance of regularly experiencing an orgasm at around the same time of day as your partner—and none of these tips involve daydreaming about baseball. Bonus: if you really want to boost your sexual prowess, are the yoga moves that are guaranteed to make you a better lay.
Improving your overall body wellness can have a big effect on your penis and all the fun things it can do. Cardio exercise such as aerobics, swimming, running, or jogging can strengthen your lungs and increase their capacity. Being fitter will enable you to control your breathing well during sexual intercourse and lower the chances of ejaculating prematurely.
But cardio will also boost your metabolism, improving circulation to your heart, lungs and—most importantly—your penis. Working out has also been shown to stimulate the release of endorphins, which can help you release tension, stay calm and enjoy sexual contact, lowering the chances of shooting your bolt in a hurry. For extra motivation, here are the 10 Best Cardio Workouts for Men Over 40.
Dr. Jane Greer, relationship expert and family therapist, says that experimenting with new positions and sensations can often help men last longer in bed. Her reasoning is positively Pavlovian: Greer maintains that when you’ve been with the same partner for some time, routine sex positions can make your body anticipate climax and bring on the finale. Doing things in a different order may help delay it. “The more awkward and unfamiliar, the better,” says Greer. If you’re looking for more ways to get her in the mood, here are the 4 Secrets for Giving Her a Mind-blowing Massage.
Ever heard of “edging?” It means building up to what’s called “ejaculatory inevitability”—the orgasmic point of no return—then standing down for a minute or so before restarting the action. You probably already know what the point of no return feels like. The key thing is to know what the moment just before that feels like. When you feel that feeling while having sex, stop doing whatever’s drawing you closer to that point. Do something that doesn’t involve your penis, such as orally or stimulating your partner—provided that’s not a trigger for you. Eventually build up to at least twenty minutes of stop-start action to give your partner a chance of having an orgasm before or at the same time as you do. When you get comfortable with knowing where your tipping point is, you can cruise along in that zone without the time-outs. There’s also an added bonus of edging for you: delaying your climax will make your orgasm all that more powerful.
Don’t laugh. The best method for strengthening the pubococcygeus muscle (PC muscle) to help control ejaculation is to perform what are commonly known as kegel exercises. The easiest way for you to find this muscle is to stop the flow of pee when you use the bathroom. You’re using the PC muscle to do that! To do kegels, quickly clench and release the PC muscle repeatedly for ten seconds. Do three sets, with a ten-second break between sets. Once you’re into a good routine, you can start busting out your new skill while having sex. Contract your PC muscle when you’re close to orgasm, and you ought to be able to put a lid on things until you (and she) are ready.
The methods above should markedly improve your sexual stamina over time. But the nuclear option is to use a product designed to temporarily desensitize your penis. Durex, Trojan and Lifestyles all offer condoms that contain between 4 and 5% benzocaine, a numbing agent that will reduce your johnson’s sensitivity and, ideally, enable you to slow down the clock during your next session. If condoms aren’t part of your routine, you can desensitize your penis by using a numbing spray. Dr. Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First, recommends Promescent. “You spray it once or twice on the head of the penis, and it absorbs really well, so a woman isn’t going to experience residual numbing,” he says.
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