In a game of word association, I’d wager that most people would say “cancer” if the word “prostate” was uttered. That’s understandable considering that after skin cancer prostate is the most common cancer in men: one man in seven will get a prostate cancer diagnosis in his lifetime, according to the American Cancer Society. I would guess that a smaller fraction of people would respond with “exam,” and that an even smaller amount of people would utter the word “massage.” But the fact remains that, if done right, a prostate massage can unlock a new level of sexual pleasure for many men. This is evidenced by an increased enthusiasm for all this ass among the hoi polloi and the increasing sales and use of prostate massagers.
If you’re a man or have one in your life, take a moment to put your finger on what the prostate is, how prostate massage is done, what it feels like, and why you should or shouldn’t be afraid to try it.
What is the prostate gland anyway?
What this walnut-to-plum-sized gland does is secrete a slightly alkaline goo that makes up around a third of a man’s semen. The rest is largely sperm and seminal vesicle fluid and these ingredients mix during orgasm. That spasm you feel when you ejaculate? That’s the prostate hard at work. It’s located below the bladder, and is sometimes known as “the male g-spot.”
You’ve heard of the g-spot right? It’s the name often given to the spongy area on the inside front wall of a woman’s vagina that is said to produce powerful orgasms. For men, the prostate is a highly sensitive erogenous zone that can provide similarly intense orgasms. And like the female g-spot, prostate massage—literally being rubbed—has been known to induce a more prolific projection of ejaculate.
Sexuality has nothing to do with this.
Think that having your prostate stimulated by yourself or a partner will turn you gay? It won’t. It may, however, turn your enjoyment of sex up a notch or three. See, the prostate is instrumental in every male orgasm regardless of orientation and luckily, straight men are benefiting from getting to grips with how to get the most fun out of theirs.
Maybe it’s the anus’s main function that makes you think twice about rummaging around back there. That’s totally valid. It’s worth remembering, however, that the only time you’re likely to encounter significant amounts of fecal matter an inch or two inside the anal cavity is if you are about to poop or didn’t have a complete bowel movement. So let’s mitigate against that happening. First, ratchet up the amount of fiber in your diet for a few days and drink plenty of water to make sure that the zone is voided of debris. You may even want to try out a Squatty Potty to get a shiner chute. The Squatty Potty is a little step that you put your feet on while pooping. According to its manufacturers, the device unkinks your colon to better get it all out.
Then, when you’re in the shower, insert a soapy, well-manicured finger a few times until you’re feeling squeaky clean. This doubles as opportunity to grow accustomed to the feeling of having something in your butt. At first, it’s probably going to feel like you’re going to the bathroom, but if you make it part of your showering regimen, you can create a new pleasurable association, quite distinct from a hearty BM.
Contrary to popular belief, no penetration is needed to stimulate the gland, thus germophobes can still massage prostates and have their prostates massaged. The perineum—or, crudely, the taint—is the skin between your testicles and your anus, located directly outside your prostate. Though the sensation is said to be of the milder variety (naturally), it can still be stimulated during sex for a more intense orgasm.
How it’s done.
Even though there may be no visual, tactile, or olfactory signs of poop back there, bacteria—some of it nasty—will endure. That’s why it’s a good idea to use a gloved, well-lubricated, one-finger approach to prostate massage. If you’re taking this manual approach, be aware it’s generally easier for another person to fully massage the gland because they don’t have to reach around the body to insert a finger. If you don’t have one or would prefer your first prostate mission to be a solo one, check out one of sex toy manufacturer Lelo’s models. A personal favorite is their remote-controlled Hugo model.
If you want to try, your partner (or you, if you’re supple) will find the gland an inch or two inside your butt, and press down on the inside wall of the taint. Put pressure on the gland and slowly massage in the direction of the navel. For beginners, it’s better to start slow. Take some time to get used to the sensation and figure out what does and doesn’t work for you. Note that prostate massage can be administered in conjunction with or separate from penile stimulation.
What it feels like.
The truth is that some guys are going to really dig the prostate massage right out of the gate. Some are going to be ambivalent or even dislike it intensely. Still more will react the same way that most people do when trying something new: they’ll learn how to like it over time. Most guys that stick with it long enough to make it work for them but agree that the orgasm achieved is more intense (and markedly different) than a one they might get from penile stimulation alone. Some say it’s more localized, and others compare it to waves flowing through the region of the body. It depends on the amount of pressure, the instrument used, and, obviously, the person. Simply massaging the prostate for a few seconds may not cause an orgasm, and people, especially beginners, may not orgasm every time, but with practice, the process is known to be a reliable (and new) way to reach climax.
It won’t help with prostate cancer. But it won’t hurt, either.
According to the American Cancer Society, one in seven men will develop prostate cancer during his lifetime. Average age of diagnosis is 66, and 6 out of 10 cases are diagnosed in men age 65 or older. Despite its high frequency in men, the 15-year survival rate for men diagnosed with prostate cancer is 96%. Studies have shown, though, that men who ejaculate more have a lower risk of prostate cancer. The study does not mention if ejaculation through prostate massage is a factor in any of the cancer research, but it couldn’t hurt to try, right?
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