Here’s Oprah’s Amazing Secret for Getting Rid of Pet Stains

You've never seen anyone so excited to clean up after her dog.

Here’s Oprah’s Amazing Secret for Getting Rid of Pet Stains

You've never seen anyone so excited to clean up after her dog.

Oprah Winfrey, 63, is a lot of things: media mogul, philanthropist, inspirational speaker (maybe future president? But let’s not even go there). But did you know that she’s also an expert at removing practically any stain?

On a recent appearance on Vanity Fair’s video series, Secret Talent Theater, Oprah explained that having had 21 dogs (!!!) over the years, she’s become a pro at getting rid of poo poo stains. “No matter how well-trained they are, accidents happen,” she says.

Now, the first surprise of the video is that Oprah cleans up her own dog poop, which is kind of shocking because there are plenty of Harvard grads who would kill to be her dedicated Dog Poop Scooper. The even more satisfying surprise, however, is the sheer glee with which Oprah removes the stain. She is elated. This is like the best part of her day. This is her happy place.

To showcase her talent, VF gave her some gravy to pour over a fluffy white rug, to mimic the worst kind of dog poop: diarrhea.

“The first thing I would do is I would actually add club soda…because it loosens the stain, bubbles it up, don’t know how that happens, and makes it easier for you to blot,” she says, demonstrating how to properly blot with a towel, since it’s critical that you don’t just press the stain further into the carpet.

Then you pour more club soda. This is where Oprah really loses it over the bubbling. “It’s just fantastic!” she squeals with childish delight. She’s got a $2.9 billion fortune, but club soda bubbling over a poo-stained carpet is what does it for her.

“I love the bubbling. This excites me. Whew. Look at that. Fizz. Bubbling. Sizzling, FanTAStic,” she says, as though crafting a beatnik poem. She makes club soda seem like the most exciting thing in the world. I am sold.

Afterwards, she shows you her special “fluff, blot” system, which is all in the wrist. Then you add just a little dab of dishwashing liquid and wipe it over the carpet. The final act–you guessed it–is club soda!

“It’s a club soda fizz cake,” she coos as the bubbles rise like frosting.

This is not just useful information. This is one of the most satisfying things to watch of all time. And for more celeb news, Here Are Kate Middleton’s Surprising Words About Pregnancy. 

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