Apple. North. Stormi. We’re well aware by now that celebrities can choose some seriously out-there names for their children. But when it comes to naming pets, celebrities are even wackier. For example: Pets named after food. Or named after popular fantasy stories. Or how about the lifestyle guru who’s named not one but two animals after iron-fisted leaders.
Herein, we’ve collected the funniest, wackiest, strangest celebrity pet names of all time. (Alas, we were unable to track down photos of every single pet. In those cases, the shining faces of screen-worthy icons will have to do.) So read on, and try your best not to crack a smile. And for some actually good nomenclature, don’t miss the 30 Best Celebrity Baby Names of All Time.
Parent: Katy Perry
Purrhaps the most fitting pet name of all time. Ever. And for more fun celeb info, don’t miss the 20 Funniest Celebrity Mugshots.
Parent: Paris Hilton
The legendary chihuahua split his 14 years between two homes: Faithfully tucked in Hilton’s purse, or lazing around in a custom, just-for-him, two-story mansion.
Parent: Martha Stewart
One headed up a globe-spanning empire that changed the world as we know it. One is a chow chow. For more A-lister trivia, meet the 20 Celebrities Who Were Born Wealthy.
Parent: Martha Stewart
You wouldn’t be incorrect to note that Stewart names her pets after legendary conquerers. And for more fun facts, check out these 20 Celebs Who Shunned Hollywood for Small Town Life.
Mr. Fluffy Pants
Missed opportunity: “Pant$.”
And for more celebrity laughs, check out the 30 Funniest Celebrity Photoshop Fails Ever.
Parent: Adam Sandler
Fun fact: Meatball starred alongside Sandler in the screwball Satan-themed comedy, Little Nicky (2000). Neither won any accolades.
Parent: Bobby Flay
The world-renowned chef named his cat after a dish even the least competent cook (yours truly) can throw together.
Parent: Emmy Rossum
True, Pepper, just as a name, isn’t funny. But, Rossum’s other two dogs are named Cinnamon and Sugar. (The phrase isn’t “cinnamon, sugar, pepper, and everything nice,” after all…)
Parent: Selma Blair
There’s no proof that actress named her dog after Nintendo’s iconic Duck Hunt. There’s no proof that she didn’t, either.
Parent: Chelsea Handler
For more on Handler, don’t miss the 30 Funniest Celebrity Books.
Parent: Pete Wentz
The Fall Out Boy heartthrob christened his dog with a play-on-words referring to the Berenstain Bears.
Parent: Miley Cyrus
The song “Pablow the Blowfish,” from Miley Cyrus & Dead Petz, is dedicated to the blowfish. (Do you get the name, now?)
Eye in the Dark
Parent: Norman Reedus
When Reedus adopted his cat, the house was done up in black floors. As such, the only parts of Eye in the Dark you could see were, well, the eyes.
Parent: Simon Cowell
Parent: Simon Cowell
Parent: CeeLo Green
What a perfect name.
Parent: Ariana Grande
Grande let her geek flag fly by naming her dog after a Harry Potter character.
Parent: Anne Hathaway
Likewise with Hathaway and her Star Wars-inspired pup.
Parent: Taylor Swift
Dun-dun. It turns out the consummate pop star is a huge fan of America’s favorite marathon-worthy show. (That’d be Law & Order: SVU.)
Parent: Ian Somerhalder
The LOST and Vampire Diaries star has, at any given time, thanks to an ever-changing troupe of foster animals, up to nine cats. Moke is among the two permanent ones.
Parent: Rachel Bilson
Yes, the The O.C. star named her dog after a Bad Santa character.
Parent: Mayim Bialek
The The Big Bang Theory star named her cat after the metal in Wolverine’s claws because “she has metal inside her.” (The kitten was born without a pectoral muscle.)
Parent: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
“Et tu, fluffball?”
Parent: Christie Brinkley
Parent: David Beckham
Not funny for name, per se, but more for the fact that Beckham and John are dear friends.
Parent: Elvis Presley
Allegedly, according to Animal Planet, the King’s chimpanzee used to drink bourbon and lift up women’s skirts. As such, Scatter was confined to a cage for a latter years of his life.
Parent: 50 Cent
The christening was initially meant disrespectfully—the rapper and the national treasure spent six years in a high-profile feud—but, after a reconciliation, took on a new, homage-like light.
Parent: Jessica Alba
Note: Not vicious.
Parent: George Clooney
This pup—like all pups—is the cerebral opposite of his namesake. Sadly, the camera-shy pup passed away last year.
Parent: Elle Woods
Yes, we’re aware that the true star of Legally Blonde 2 is fictional. Yes, we’re aware that Moonie—the canine actor’s IRL name—could be, to some tastes, a funnier name than Bruiser. Yes, Bruiser, named ironically, in all his cutesy, miniature stature, is among the funniest celebrity pet names of all time. Need more proof? Just check out the 30 Funniest Movie Characters of All Time.
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