Everyone knows the first date is the hardest one to plan. Should you opt for something simple—such as coffee or a drink—or are you the type of person who wants to do something a little more… out-of-the-box? Don’t stress! We’ve got your back.
We’ve compiled all of the greatest non-boring and expertly vetted first-date ideas that are guaranteed to not only impress your date with your savvy ideas but will also lay the groundwork for a potentially lasting relationship. And if you’re worried about what to say on that date, we’ve got your back there, too. Here are the 20 Questions You Should Never Ask On a First Date.
Take a Walk
Yes, sometimes the simplest date ideas are the best ones. According to research done on the best date ideas by the dating app Zoosk, after dinner and coffee, a walk was the third most popular date idea for women in their 30s, 50s, and 60s and ranked 4th among women in their 20s. If you’re all about the little things, here’s 11 Easy Ways To Make Her Feel Extra Special.
Do a Museum Visit
“Visiting one or several museums can be a great first date,” says Michelle Ngome, a speaker, author, and connection enthusiast. “Many museums are free, affordable, or accept donations. This gives the couple a chance to have casual small talk and understand each other’s perspective on life based on art.”
It’s also a surefire way of killing any awkward silences: There will be an endless supply of great conversation starters all around you. Plus, many museums have a small cafe inside, so if things are going well, you can extend the date by grabbing a bite.
Visit a Farmers Market
There are a ton of reasons this works so well as a first date. “First, it’s a public place so it’s relatively safe,” says Sunny Rodgers, a clinical sexologist and certified sex coach. “Plus, it gives socially-nervous daters a lot of different things to discuss. You can discuss flowers, fruit, and jam preferences as you wander and shop together. If the date is going well, I suggest buying coffee, fruit, or ice cream and sitting someplace to eat or drink together. If things are going extremely well, I suggest purchasing a few key ingredients and setting a second date where you’ll cook or prepare the purchased ingredients to enjoy together.” And if the date’s not going well? You’ve got the perfect excuse to head out: fresh ingredients that need to be put away.
Try Trivia Night
This beats the typical conversation over cocktails. Many bars and pubs have themed trivia nights, so you can show off your pop culture or historical knowledge and get in the playful competitive spirit. And to be sure that she’s really into you, learn These 10 Body Language Signs.
Do an Escape Room
These adventure games in which people get together to use clues to solve various puzzles are incredibly popular right now, and they make a fantastic first date activity. “An escape room is a surefire way to get to know your date quickly,” says Laura Bilotta, a dating coach and matchmaker. “You’ll have to use teamwork, and the task at hand will keep the two of you talking without awkward lulls.”
If you both like being active outdoors, this is a great way to get to know each other. “I don’t suggest hitting a secluded trek or one that would take hours to complete, but instead find a walking trail either around your city, in a park, or out in the countryside,” suggests J. Hope Suis, a relationship expert and author. “Pack some water and a few snacks, dress comfortably and hit the road. You will have plenty of time for conversation and you can also judge their spontaneity and maybe even their fitness skills.”
Attend a Book Reading
If you find intelligence sexy, a book reading will help you gauge your date’s intellect and provide a conversation starter. “It will allow you to talk about a subject matter that is outside of ‘tell me about yourself,’ and yet you still get a sense of the other person,” says Janet Zinn, LCSW, a couples counselor. If you guys go the distance, always keep in mind the 30 Ways to Be a Better Husband and Wife.
“Ice skating or roller skating was a dating staple back in high school for many,” notes Stef Safran, a dating and matchmaking expert. “Try out doing an activity that keeps the focus on balancing yourself from falling—literally.” At the end of the day, a little light physical danger is a great, time-honored bonding experience.
“Nothing draws us close to someone like a willingness to share with openness and honesty,” says Michelle Puster, a licensed professional counselor. “A demonstration of such vulnerability shows confidence and an effort to get to know someone by sharing about themselves first.”
Bowling can be a little goofy (the shoes, the music, the technique), which means it’s perfect for breaking the ice.
Take an Art Class
“This activity can spark your creativity and will also allow for conversation and connection,” notes Susan Ruth Freedman, a couples therapist and Board Certified Clinical Sexologist who works with Jack & Jill adult store.
See a Comedy Show
“A great way to ditch the tired dinner and drinks combo is to grab a cocktail and go to a comedy show,” Bilotta says. “Having a drink first will help you get comfortable and acquainted. Hopefully the show you see is funny, but even if it isn’t, you’ll have lots to talk about afterwards.”
Visit an Animal Shelter
“If you’re an animal lover, one of the best first dates is to go to an animal shelter where they have a selection of animals from cute kittens to a komodo dragons,” says Cherry Davis, a dating coach. It’s a great way to see how your date interacts with them, plus you can often gauge how affectionate someone is by how they treat potential pets.
Attend a Sporting Event
Love sports and know your date does too? Head to a local game. “Both people can get to know each other and how they react at events like this,” explains Susan Golicic, Ph.D. and Certified Relationship Coach. “It also has lots of things going on in case some awkward silences pop up at the beginning.” Note to men: Do not do this if your date isn’t into sports.
Listen to Some Jazz
If your city has a great jazz club (and chances are it does), take your date to enjoy some live music while you have a cocktail or two. The setting will be more romantic than your typical bar, and you’ll have plenty of material to chat about in between sets. (After all, it’s the perfect opportunity to channel your own Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling.)
Take a Cooking Class
“I usually suggest a cooking class because it’s hands on,” Rodgers says. “Again, it’s a safe place and offers a shared experience that allows for lots of topics to discuss. It’s also usually a short time period, so the dater can decide if they wish to extend the date or make plans for a second date. With something like a pasta making class, you could suggest a second date at an Italian restaurant known for their fresh pasta.”
See a Psychic
What better way is there to find out if you’re destined to be together forever?
Check Out a Street or Music Festival
You’d be surprised how many of these events there are, and they make great date destinations. “It’s pretty easy to find a festival within 10 or 20 miles if you look hard enough,” says David Bennett, a certified counselor and relationship expert. “They often involve free shows, good food, games, and rides. And, at the very least, you can people watch.”
Do a Drive-In Movie
Seeing a movie isn’t generally ideal for a first date since it’s pretty difficult to have a conversation in a crowded theater. A drive-in, on the other hand, allows for a little more privacy so you can chat about your favorite scenes.
Hit Up a Botanic Garden
“If the weather allows, checking out a botanic garden can be a nice way to view things when you have to focus on what’s in front of you,” Safran says. That way, you don’t have to stress about coming up with topics bring up when there’s a break in the conversation.
Take A Wine Tasting Course
Many wine shops and bars offer wine tasting evenings, which can be a fun way to do something social and still get to know each other at the same time. If you can’t find a class near you, DIY one at a BYOB restaurant with a few different bottles of wine.
Anything at The Beach
If you have access to a beach, it’s a good idea to utilize it. In Zoosk’s research on date ideas, women of all age groups mentioned the beach one of their top romantic venues.
Create Your Own Culinary Tour
If you feel like getting really creative, give this a go. “Order one appetizer at a local place, then go to another place and share another appetizer,” suggests Zinn. Keep going until you’re full! “You’ll learn your date’s food tastes and it’s a fun way to try different things together.”
Do a Sunrise or Sunset Meetup
“Meet to watch the sunrise or sunset,” Golicic recommends. “This is not only romantic, but also allows for conversation—sometimes really deep conversation—while taking in the beauty of something we often take for granted.”
Visit The Zoo
Similar to the botanic garden idea, this shifts the focus onto something other than the two of you, Safran says, which can help cut out the first date awkwardness that sometimes occurs.
Go On a Dessert Mission
Take it upon yourselves to find the best dessert spot in town. “Going from place to place on a tour can have you sampling deserts while making small talk,” Safran says. You could also book a cupcake tour or something similar if it’s offered in your area. “While being one-on-one can make some people nervous, going with a small group can make things easier if it takes you a bit to come out of your shell.”
Do a Park Picnic
If the weather is nice, there’s nothing better than an outdoor picnic in your local park. Pick up some fruit, cheese, crackers, and wine and you’ll be set. Dinner in a fancy restaurant is nice, but this is way more thoughtful.
Take a Bike Ride
Or do pretty much any other physical activity you both enjoy. “Not only do you get to do something you would normally do and get to talk about how you work out, you get to check the other person out in workout clothes,” Golicic says.
Check Out a Trampoline Park
It’s pretty hard to not have fun when jumping around in a room filled with trampolines. “These indoor parks are popping up everywhere,” Bennett says. “They add a little thrill and fun to your first date.” What’s more, you’ll see if your date is able to have a good time and not take themselves too seriously.
Meet at a Bookstore
Take each other on a tour of the bookstore, pointing out your favorite books and why they’re important to you along the way. Many bookstores these days have coffee shops, so you can always start or end with a cup of Joe.
Try a Swing Dance Class
“This is a playful way to engage, get exercise, and learn how you move together as a couple,” Freedman says. Even if neither of you is a great dancer to begin with, learning a new skill together is a surefire way to gauge your compatibility.
Go to a Concert
“Similar to the sports event, there are times when talking isn’t required,” Golicic points out. “I would suggest something on the more mellow side to start with, but this is a chance to have fun moving and singing to the music.”
Check Out a Neighborhood You’ve Never Been To
If you live in a major city, it’s likely that there are neighborhoods in your area that you’ve never explored. Maybe there’s even a major tourist attraction in your town that you’ve never been to. Meet your date there and explore.
Play Arcade Games
“Bars are popping up that are filled with old school arcade games and Skee-Ball,” Bennett says. You can often play for free if you buy a drink or two, and some friendly competition is a solid way to see if there’s a spark.
Do some good together. “Volunteer dates for an organization are great way to see if you share the same values and morals,” Davis says. “You can observe how they interact with other volunteers, if they are adaptable or need structure, and if they are willing to try something new interacting with people that wouldn’t be in their social circle.”
Go to a Diner
This takes all the stuffiness and pretension out of the typical restaurant date. It’s hard to take yourself too seriously when you’re eating pancakes for dinner.
Do a Photography Walking Tour
This idea can easily be DIY-ed. “Take your smartphone and go for a walk and talk while taking pictures of what you like,” Zinn says. “Then, sit and compare what you took and why you liked it.”
Daytime dates are seriously underrated, and brunch is an easy way to give them a try if you haven’t done one before. Pick a restaurant you know has amazing food and a lively atmosphere that will inspire conversation. Also, you’re signaling to your potential partner that you’re not just in it for what goes on in the bedroom.
“For the outdoor enthusiast, this is a great activity for a beautiful day,” Freedman says. “Ideally rent a two-person kayak so you can be close and communicate about the beautiful sites in nature.”
Get Ice Cream
It’s safe to say you and your potential S.O. have been on a million coffee dates, but have you ever been on an ice cream date? Probably not. Grab a cone and take a stroll. If all these dates are a total success and you feel happier than ever, then check the 5 Ways to Know She’s “The One”.
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