The weather isn’t the only thing to cool when fall rolls around. As countless reports (and trend pieces) show, it’s also a prime break-up season, when couples that may have survived an eventful summer call it quits in the face of an approaching winter. “September arrives, the summer party season is over, and you’ve got nothing much on until Christmas,” James Preece, a dating coach, told UK’s The Mail on Sunday. “It’s the lull when lots of relationships fizzle out.”
But that doesn’t have to be the case with you and your partner. After all, fall doesn’t just mark the return of the school year, great TV, and new sports seasons. It’s also when you can get a little cozier between the sheets, you can plan a lot more creative, outdoor dates, and you can feel the added comfort of your support system, as you’ll be spending more time with family. Here are all of the reasons your relationship should be heating up this fall instead of petering out. And if you want some big-time inspiration for keeping the temperature high, here 60 Sex Positions Every Couple Needs to Try.
“Unlike summer, which is packed with weddings and vacations, autumn is a time when people typically travel less and do more indoors,” says Athena Grace, a dating and relationship coach with It’s Just Lunch D.C. In fact, people often have more time overall to devote to dating in the fall. “The same goes for couples in long-term relationships; they likely have more time to spend their weekends doing something more laid-back with their sweeties and can focus on each other.” And for more great relationship advice, here are the Secrets of the Best Relationships.
“In the fall, it gets colder and the days get shorter, so people tend to want to stay in more,” notes Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW. “That means more time to snuggle up and get cozy in a warm bed.” And with more time spent in bed, there’s a pretty good chance you’ll be getting lucky more often than usual.
Apple orchard trip, anyone? “Fall brings with it harvest festivals, pumpkin picking, and corn mazes, making great dates and time to enjoy new activities together as a couple,” says Dr. Wyatt Fisher, a licensed psychologist in Colorado. Basically, there’s no shortage of super romantic excursions this time of year. Now for more great dating advice, here are 7 Expert Dating Tips from Silicon Valley’s Top Millionaire Matchmaker.
“Fall, anchored between the lull of summer and the craziness of the holidays, is an ideal season for love and commitment,” says Randi Levin, a transitional life strategist. “Everything seems more serious and amped up in the fall.” That includes your relationship. Essentially, fall brings a new surge of energy to everything you do. “That same sense of purpose, responsibility, and commitment impacts what we wear, how we run our businesses, and even who and how we love,” she says. Speaking of getting serious, here are 15 Signs Your Partner is Marriage Material.
This doesn’t apply to everyone, but “if you are a couple with kids, ‘back to school’ can often bring a sense of relief with regular schedules and responsibilities,” points out Georgia M. Hill, a sex and relationship coach. “It can also be an opportunity to refocus on couple time after a summer that most likely focused on family time. Fall can be a great time to re-establish date night!” Folks with kids, you should also check out The 5 Best Ways to Have Amazing Sex After Parenthood.
“Fall is about shedding the old to make room for the new,” notes Alexis Sclamberg, dating expert at Doppler Social App. “Think about all the things you need to let go of in your relationship to make room for renewed and better connection, sex, and fun,” she suggests. “It’s a perfect time get intentional about your relationship and take it to the next level.” Speaking of better sex, here are The 5 Best Ways to Have Your Best Sex Tonight.
When autumn hits, that means arrangements are being made for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Eve. “Fall is a great time for relationships as you can plan together for the holidays,” says Josie May, a love and dating coach. Use the upcoming get-togethers as a way to get excited about your near future together.
Research has shown that testosterone levels are highest in the autumn months, which means your sex drive will likely be revved up compared to other times of the year. You can also have even better sex with these 6 Game-Changing Upgrades to Your Favorite Sex Positions.
Defining the relationship is a big step, and autumn tends to be a good time to do it since it represents new beginnings. “The need for something new could be translated into a title change in the relationship,” says Audrey Hope, celebrity relationship expert. “It may be a time to get closer, and to make new commitments, like getting engaged.”
“Summer is very social time and you are likely around friends a lot,” says Hershenson. “When the fall season comes along, people tend to get more serious, as they are back in work mode. Fall gives you more alone time with your partner with less distractions such as trips and BBQs.”
If you haven’t met your S.O.’s parents yet, you’re probably going to during the fall season. “Autumn allows couples to share and experience religious and cultural festivals together as well as possibly meet each other’s, families,” says Dr. Steve McGough. “This helps couples learn more about each other,” and ultimately brings them closer—no matter how “out there” their families are. Although you may want to watch out for these 6 Signs That His Relationship With His Mother Is a Deal Breaker.
Speaking of spending time with your family, sometimes you need an exit strategy or someone to talk to who isn’t your own flesh and blood. Your partner can support you during gatherings with relatives and vice versa, which will deepen your bond.
Let’s face it—with fall comes a fresh wardrobe, whether it’s off the rack or from the back of your closet. “It’s such a great time of the year to look effortlessly stylish on date night,” says May. Swap out shorts for pants, tees for sweaters, and sandals for boots. There’s something about new outfits that inspires confidence, and there’s nothing sexier than that. Speaking of Fall style, here’s Your Complete Guide to Fall’s Hottest Hair Colors and Cuts.
Need we say more? There’s no better time to have a partner in crime.
“Fall is a time of spicing things up,” says Sclamberg. Need proof? See: the pumpkin spice latte. “You use can this to make a commitment to spicing up your relationship, too,” she suggests. “Plan an adventure together, take them on a sexy, romantic date night, or surprise them with a gift or flowers at work.” If you do decide to surprise them with flowers, here’s The Guide to Buying the Perfect Flowers.
“With the holidays and New Year’s right around the corner, people tend to think about their future and what they want for the upcoming year,” says Hershenson. That makes fall the perfect time to talk about what’s coming next and if the relationship is headed in the right direction. If this conversation does happen, it’s more likely that you’ll both stay committed after the holidays, according to Hershenson. And while you’re thinking about the future, here are 5 Sure Signs You’re Ready to Get Married.
Seasons change, and so do relationships. “The shift in the seasons—the colors, the shorter days, the colder weather—can be a good reminder of the ebb and flow of relationships,” Hill notes. “There will always be ups and downs, but they are also an opportunity for reflection and recommitment to one another.”
“Fall is a time of cleaning out the old and bringing in the new, so it is a great time to find a new property and move in together,” says Hope. “You and your partner can begin a new chapter by throwing away what no longer serves you, and cleaning house into a new one—together.”
“In the fall, there is a sense of hope and things cooling down from the hot summer,” says Hope. Spending time together in nature together, she notes, is a great way to become closer, and fall brings on ideal weather for this. “It’s time to take walks in nature, hold hands, and make new plans.”
In the end, it’s crucial to remember that love has no season, says Levin. “There is no one right or wrong time to be in or pursue a relationship. It is important to note that a relationship in any season requires work and diligence,” she adds. In other words, things might not always be perfect, but just because the seasons are changing doesn’t mean you have to wipe your relationship slate clean.
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