The Best Dating Apps if You’re Over 40

Yes, you’re probably too old for Tinder.

The Best Dating Apps if You’re Over 40

Yes, you’re probably too old for Tinder.

If you find yourself on the market in your 40s, wading into the app-dating world can feel daunting. There are literally hundreds of apps to choose from, and if you’re a busy guy looking for something meaningful, scrolling through an endless stream of music-festival selfies probably isn’t the best use of your time. But that doesn’t mean smartphone dating isn’t for you.

We ranked the best apps that are friendly to people of slightly older age groups—paying special attention to the ones where you’ll have the most potential matches to choose from. Some you’ve heard of, others you haven’t, and one of them will even offer you the opportunity to date a Victoria’s Secret model. (Hey, to echo Lloyd Christmas, there’s always a chance.) So good luck! And for more great relationship advice, be sure to read all of our relationship rules, including the ones for dating a colleague.

11
Raya

Raya is ranked last because of its wildly excessive exclusivity—Vogue referred to it as the “Soho House of dating apps”—but if you can manage to get an invite, we say go for it. The app traffics mainly in creative types and anything ultra status-y: celebrities, people who work in the media, athletes, and even reality TV contestants. (Want to a shot at model and actress Cara Delevingne, or even Sharon Stone? Go for Raya.) If you go this route, prepare to be Googled and judged. Making it past their screening process is no easy feat (unless you happen to be a minor celeb, you’re going to need some luck!), but selective element can be a major plus, since you know everyone else on the app went through the same thing. The best way in? According to their website, find someone who is already on the app to invite you.

Cost: $7.99/month
Get it on iOS only.

10
Sweatt

Yes, it’s an app developed for fitness junkies. But before you thumb your nose at it, it’s worth noting that if you’ve got a hobby that you really care about in your 40s—such as staying really fit, which we wholeheartedly encourage—it’s a terrific way to meet a compatible, like-minded person. According to Lisa Bahar, a California-based licensed marriage and family therapist, super-specific apps are great for older crowds with firmer routines in their daily lives. If you know what you’re looking for, which by now you likely do, there’s no reason to waste time.

Cost: Free
Get it on iOS only.

9
Bumble

Bumble is hugely popular, but the options for the over-40 crowd are fewer than in other age groups. (Hence the lower rating on our part.)

Bumble is similar to Tinder in the sense that you’ll swipe yes or no on potential matches, but it’s different in that the woman has to start the conversation in the first 24 hours after matching. Basically, you snooze, you lose. Women tend to favor this app because there’s a lower chance of getting creepy one-liners as conversation openers, which in turn becomes a plus for men who want to meet women who are actually looking for the real deal. In other words, it’s a good resource for both sexes, and for those who aren’t just looking to talk to as many potential matches as possible.

Cost: Free, with optional in-app purchases.
Get it on iOS or Android.

8
Coffee Meets Bagel

The most challenging thing about dating apps is dealing with the sheer volume of potential matches. Coffee Meets Bagel (have two things ever been more perfectly matched?) removes some of that stress by giving you a limited number of matches every day at noon. If you both like each other, you have seven days to exchange contact information and take the conversation offline. It’s simple, easy, and the opposite of overwhelming, especially for those who don’t have time to spend hours swiping through potential dates because they’re, you know—working. One caveat: Because the app sources your matches from friends of friends on Facebook, this might not be the best option for those who are trying to widen their dating pool beyond their community.

Cost: Free
Get it on iOS or Android.

7
FirstMet

According to recent research, FirstMet has one of the highest percentages of users who are 30 or older, with only 2.3% of its users being in the 18 to 29 age bracket. Again, the bigger the pool, the better chance you have of meeting someone amazing, and with over 30 million users, that’s a pretty huge pool. Structured around interests and hobbies, this app encourages members to connect over whatever they have in common, hopefully creating a fun story about how they first met their new significant other. (Get it?)

Cost: $9.99/month
Get it on iOS or Android.

6
Sparkology

This app knows that age is a factor, and because of that it divides people up into two categories: young professionals (40 and under) and professionals (40 and up). Of course, you can opt to have your profile visible to matches in both categories—age is just a number, after all—but it’s nice to know that the app has ways to cater to specific age groups. Profiles are vetted by real people, and users are required to provide information like where they went to college and what their job is. A somewhat controversial element is that women pay a basic subscription rate, but men actually pay per message for each woman they get in touch with. On the one hand, this is a little bit obnoxious, but on the other, you know that anytime a conversation is started, there’s true interest there.

Cost: For women, starting at $25/month. For men, $3/message.
Get it on iOS only.

5
The League

If the idea of a conventional dating app makes you feel weird, the League may interest you. First of all, their top priority is your privacy, which is crucial. The League specifically blocks anyone you’re friends with on Facebook or LinkedIn from seeing your profile. (If you’re in your 40s, you don’t need the hassle of having your friends or coworkers finding your profile on a dating app.) The League also has networking events, making it easier to meet people offline. The catch? It’s kinda-sorta invite only, and it’s only available in NYC, Los Angeles, and San Francisco.

The upside to this app is that you know everyone on it has been vetted and is actually who they say they are (they even checks your social channels to make sure everything matches up). But the downside is that not everyone who wants to be on the app gets the chance to be.

Cost: $19.99/month
Get it on iOS or Android.

4
Happn

If you’re the kind of person who sees people you’d like to ask out but never actually does it, Happn could be a great option for you. Basically, the app tracks your location and allows you to see anyone in your vicinity (or who has been in your vicinity recently) who is also on the app. Then, you can like or not like those people. If two people are into each other, it’s a match. Pretty simple, right? Happn provides a solution for those who are tired of getting matches who are far away from them geographically, something that can happen relatively often on old-school dating sites like eHarmony. The idea is that if you’ve crossed paths with someone during your regular day-to-day life, long-distance dating—which is a major inconvenience to someone who has already established their life and career—is removed from the equation. The app works best in big cities, since the more users you run into, the more matches you’re likely to have.

Cost: Free
Get it on iOS or Android.

3
PlentyofFish

“Dating online is a great way to find someone. I did!” says Audrey Hope, a relationship expert who met her husband on PlentyofFish. Like other services on this list, PlentyofFish has been around for a while, which means it has a lots and lots of people who use it. Even though you don’t hear much buzz about this app, it actually has the second most users out of all dating apps, coming in right after Tinder. Remember: If you’re dating within an age group that might not be up to date on all the newest, trendiest apps, sometimes it’s better to stick with what people are familiar with.

Cost: Memberships start at $7.50/month.
Get it on iOS or Android.

2
Match

OK, we know we’re not reinventing the wheel here, but with 75% of Match.com’s users being over the age of 30, you’re going to have a ton of potential mates when it comes to sheer numbers. It’s known for being a more “serious” app, so if you’re looking to start up something long-term, this may be your best bet. Kelley Kitley, a Chicago-based psychotherapist who deals with relationships, says she would recommend Match above other apps because “you pay for the service, so it’s a higher caliber of people who might be more committed to the dating process. People also have to put the time into creating a full profile, as opposed to ‘the swipe apps,’ which don’t give you a sense of personality or interests but are based solely on looks.”

Cost: Memberships start at $20.99/month.
Get it on iOS or Android.

1
OkCupid

You might know about OKC already, and for some it could be a blast from the past (hello 2012!), but there’s a reason it’s still so popular. The app is super easy to use, making it perfect for those who don’t want to spend a lot of time trying to figure out the ins and outs of a complicated interface. While it might seem a bit ironic to put an app that’s been around forever in the number one slot, we assure you: we’re totally sincere.

“People who are serious about getting serious should try OkCupid because the people on it range in age and are typically on there with truly serious intentions,” says Julia Bekker, a matchmaker, relationship expert and dating coach. “Many of the users are smart and attractive; it’s a high quality crowd.” When you’re dating in your 40’s, high quality is just about the best thing you can ask for. Plus, this app has the advantage of being free, so it’s a great first step if you’re just getting your feet wet in the dating app world.

Cost: Free
Get it on iOS or Android.

 

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