The numbers don’t lie. According to several studies, 85 percent of people have a “confidence deficit.” Whether it’s in the office, in bed, at home, in your family, or in uncomfortable social situations, tons of people are struggling with deeply-rooted feelings of inadequacy. That’s an overwhelming statistic and it’s time to change it.
When you feel good about yourself, it’s palpable—not to mention contagious. People can tell right off the bat if someone is confident or struggling with their self-image. So how can you pull off the former rather than the latter? Keep on reading. And for more important life advice, check out The Single Best Way to Reduce Stress.
Get that coffee fill in the morning
Coffee makes us more tolerable human beings. If you feel sluggish and need a jolt of energy (and a boost of confidence) in the office, get your coffee fill early in the morning. You’ll be more likely to be open to new things, new people, and you’re more likely to share your ideas. And when you’ve got your morning boost, do yourself a favor and follow the 20 Healthy Living Rules You Should Live By.
Put flowers on your night table
Believe it or not, it will help you sleep better and wake up energized and in the right mood the next day. Of course, being well-rested is the single most important thing you can do to feel in peak form, which will instill you with confidence to carry you throughout your day. How do we know that flowers help? Check out the Single Best Way to Wake Up in a Good Mood Everyday.
Make a visualization board
Envision the most confident possible version of you and showcase it on your visualization board, zero-ing in on the things you want to feel. It could be a photo of a man who has climbed a mountain, or an item that instills you with good feelings you need. It’s a helpful daily reminder of where you’re going. Remember: the best athletes always imagine themselves hoisting that victory trophy well before the big championship, and let those good vibes carry them through the game. You should be no different.
Pick daily affirmations
Affirmations are daily mantras that serve as reminders of what you should be focusing on. Is confidence your weakness? Self-image? Tell yourself in the mirror, “I am confident. I am strong. I am beautiful.”
Write down any negative thoughts
You’d be shocked to learn just how many negative thoughts a day you’re experiencing. The average person has anywhere from 12,000 to 60,000 negative thoughts per day, so by writing them down, you’ll not only realize how prevalent negativity is in your own thought process, but you’re also exorcise those thoughts once and for all. And for more mind hacks, check out these 7 Ways to Boost Your Brain Power After 40.
Do a 7-minute workout
Exercising regularly has a huge impact on your self-esteem. In fact, when you see yourself in a mirror working out, you’re more likely to think you look attractive. To get an upsurge in self-esteem, work out at least three to five days a week. It needn’t be a marathon session, either. Studies continually show that short workouts work great, too. For more on that, here’s why you need a (much) shorter workout.
Find your power suit
Your “power suit” is a phrase used to describe that one outfit that makes you feel amazing, powerful, free, and self-assured. Find yours and use it as your go-to whenever you need an extra boost. Just be sure to avoid the 38 Things No Man Over 40 Should Wear.
Find your power suit
It might seem minimal but slowing down how quickly you speak and enunciating can do wonders for your self-confidence. Slowing down your speech creates the illusion of being more intentional with your words and it will give you more time to think about what you’re saying.
Strike a pose at yoga
Yoga has myriad benefits—emotional, physical, and psychological—but overall, it’s the perfect remedy for a lack of confidence. It teaches you to appreciate the strength of your body and to feel good with who you are.
Work on your posture
A person who’s not walking or standing up straight doesn’t exactly exude the confidence of a CEO. Practice sitting and standing with a straight spine to come off as more assured. Bonus: good posture is also one of the 70 Tricks to Get Instantly Happy.
List your accomplishments
You have so much to be confident about already, and simply listing your previous accomplishments on a sheet of paper will remind give you a big adrenaline shot of self-worth.
Make eye contact
When you’re in an uncomfortable situation, do your eyes wander? When you’re not 100 percent sure of what you’re talking about, do you find yourself looking at the ceiling or at the floor? Confident people make eye contact with whomever they’re speaking, while less confident people tend to avert their eyes elsewhere.
Volunteer work might not seem directly correlated to building confidence, but it is. When you know that you’ve helped others in need, you instantly feel better about yourself.
Organize your paperwork
Fact: When you’re organized and prepared, you’re not as nervous or anxious as you were before. Period. And papers are one of the most common things people don’t organize or file correctly. So if you have important documents like lease agreements, bills, deposited checks, medical bills, or mortgage papers simply lying around, create an organized filing system immediately. That way, you’ll feel confident that when you need those files, they’ll be right at your fingertips.
It’s a small thing with big benefits. Smiling increases your levels of happy neurotransmitters in your brain. And the more you smile, the happier you’ll be. And for more ways to feel happier, know that Saying This One Word Will Boost Your Mood by 25 Percent.
Cut out toxic people
If there are toxic people in your life who threaten your self-worth and significantly chip away at your self-esteem, it’s time to kick those relationships to the curb. You should seek out positive reinforcement, not haters.
Listen to Black Sabbath
There have been studies that suggest listening to heavy metal music makes you more confident and better at your job. But honestly: You should listen to whichever tunes make you feel your most powerful. Music sets the tone for our goals and values in life, so if you’re constantly listening to upbeat power anthems, you’re going to notice a difference in yourself and feel unstoppable.
It feels amazing when other people—especially if we find them attractive or admirable in some way—validate us, even in the smallest of ways. Flirting with people and receiving attention is a surefire pick-me-up to get your mojo back and feel good about yourself.
Admit when you’re wrong
Confidence is crucial, but over-confidence is downright dangerous. Knowing when to admit you are wrong is an important step in maintaining your self-esteem, because confidence doesn’t mean being right all the time. It also means being self-aware.
Make a list of your strengths
What are you great at? Keep a list of strengths in your desk drawer or somewhere accessible. Review it when you’re feeling down on yourself and the list will act as a reminder of all the amazing things you’re capable of.
Get your hair cut
Either cut or done—never underestimate the power of a fresh cut or side-swept blow-out. If you’re really feeling yourself post-cut, snap a selfie. And if you’re a man, consider rocking one of these 15 haircuts for looking instantly younger.
Wear more comfortable shoes
It’s hard to feel self-assured in the office when you’re teetering on six-inch heels that are grinding into your toes and giving you blisters. Don’t sacrifice style for comfort, but certainly be aware of how a shoe fits and feels before wearing it out. When you feel good, others can tell and you’ll be more at ease and less distracted.
Read a self-help book
There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking out the self-help department. There are tons of great reads out there that focus on building self-esteem—even if they don’t have “confidence” in the title. At the end of the day, a great self-help book can have a hugely positive impact on your life.
Purge the things that don’t serve you
Take a chapter out of Marie Kondo’s books Spark Joy and The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and rid your space of the things that don’t “bring you joy” or have a certain purpose. Clutter is one of confidence’s worst enemies. When you feel good in your space, you have much less to worry about. And for more on de-cluttering, check out How Swedish Death Cleaning Banishes Clutter Forever.
Put your best face forward
Many people have confidence issues that stem from physical appearance. Take care of your skin, not just for the sake of your confidence, but in the name of health! Twice a day, use a cleanser, toner, and moisturizer. Add a serum into your routine and nightly under eye cream (and don’t forget the neck!).
Ask for help
It’s okay to solicit help and advice, especially if it’s from someone you admire or think of as very confident. Never be afraid to ask a potential mentor, “Hey, how did you build your confidence?” or “Do you have any confident tips for me?” Trust me: You’ll be surprised with what you hear.
Drink more water
Water has so many great health benefits that you already know about. But it also fights against headaches, confusion, fatigue, and irritability—all things that work as anti-confidence blocks.
Yes, helping someone else—whether it’s helping someone cross the street or holding the door for someone else—inflates you with a sense of doing good and gives a nice confidence boost.
Draw up things that are most important to you
What are your values? What are the things that are most important to you? It’s hard to be a confident person if you don’t recognize what you value most.
Engage in inspiring conversations
One of the easiest ways to rejuvenate your inspiration is to talk to others about things that are new and interesting to you. Don’t just rely on the same old tedious topics, like the weather. Get involved in a conversation about politics, technology, emotions, books, or traveling. Whatever it is that’s going to light a fire within you, speak about it with someone. We guarantee you’ll walk away feeling enthused and proud.
Cut back on reality TV
Sure, it’s fun to watch the Kardashians never take off their full faces of makeup and to witness the Real Housewives verbally assault each other, but that kind of content can have a negative impact on self-esteem. (Especially if you don’t own as many Rolls Royces as Kylie Jenner.) Turn off the TV and instead, be grateful for what you have. Focus on content that’s inspiring and smart, not stuff that’s going to make you feel guilty for not having a billion-dollar net worth.
Make amends with your body
Forgive your body. Maybe you feel like it has betrayed you in some way. Maybe it’s not skinny enough, or muscular enough, or tall enough, or lean enough. Maybe it’s failed you in some medical way. Forgive it. If you’re at peace with your body, you’ll be one step closer to being at peace with yourself. Be confident in your body’s abilities, despite all its flaws, and you’ll see a huge difference in how you present yourself and think about yourself.
Meditation is the ultimate you-time. It’s when you work to shut out everything and merely focus on the essence of your very existence: the movement of your breath. When practiced regularly, meditation will soothe anxieties and make you more self-reliant and at peace with the world.
Focus on body language
Your body language is so much more important than you ever realized. Appearing confident is great for walking through life. But it also instills you with a greater sense of confidence. It’s a total win-win!
Become a blogger
It’s a cliché among YouTubers that starting a channel boosts confidence. But it’s true: Writing a blog can influence how you feel about yourself. Having your own online outlets and personal space on the Internet can meaningfully enhance your feelings of self-worth.
Organize your life
Your closet, your shoe collection, your bathroom shelves—if there’s anything that can be tied up in your life, tie it up. When you can easily find whatever it is that you’re looking for, you’re less likely to worry or feel insecure. If your closet is organized, you’ll know exactly where your favorite shirt is. If your bathroom cabinet is organized, you won’t waste time panicking when you can’t find your hairspray or razor.
Keep a journal
Use a daily journal to not only chronicle your life but also to lay out your goals, from conversations you want to have to topics you’d like to learn more about to projects you’d like to start.
Hit the heavy bag
Like any type of exercise, engaging in kickboxing releases a massive amount of endorphins, the feel-good neurotransmitters that make you feel amazing about yourself. Kickboxing is proven to make people feel more confident, reduce their stress, and feel happier overall.
Study what you need to know
Are you nervous for a job interview? Anxious about a presentation you have to give at work? Study so you know your subject inside and out. The more you know, the less doubt you’ll feel.
Concentrate on gratitude
Focus on all of the blessings you are grateful for. Feelings of gratitude will put things into perspective and make you feel fearless. When you’re fearless, you’ll try anything. And for more on gratitude, read up on how Being Thankful Can Change Your Life.
Educate yourself on finance
A 2013 study found that 61 percent of Americans could not answer more than three of five fundamental financial questions. Managing your finances is complex but crucial. People who understand money management and have a strong financial education are more likely to make better decisions with money. Knowledge is power, which breed confidence.
Get rid of clothes you don’t feel good in
Sure, you want to find your power suit but you also don’t want your wardrobe bogged down with clothes that make you feel like crap. Sweatpants with holes? Get rid of it. Dress shirts and blouses that don’t fit right? Toss it. Your wardrobe should only contain clothes that make you feel like your most confident self.
Take a dance class
You’re never too old to learn how to dance! Studies show that dance classes induce a boost of confidence. It’s a skill that will carry you through the rest of your days.
Get out of your comfort zone
If you don’t have confidence, you’ll never feel ready enough to leave your comfort zone. And if you don’t leave your comfort zone, you’ll never build up confidence. So get out of that box and see what happens. Throw yourself into the ring and you’ll be surprised with how much endurance you actually have; it might even prove you have more confidence than you realized.
Meet new people
Whether it’s online or in person, meeting new people is an awesome way to practice your social skills and manufacture more confidence. The more you speak to others and learn what makes them tick, the more you’ll learn about yourself: Your strengths, your weaknesses, and what you need to work on.
Be intentional with your friends
Just as you should kick to the curb the negative influences in your life, get a tighter reign on the positive influences. Hone your friend group and be intentional with who you surround yourself with. Make sure you’re surrounded by those who genuinely have your best interests at heart, and who love you and want to see you thrive.
Commit to rational positive thinking
Rational positive thinking is a process that focuses on combating and equalizing irrational negativity with rationale and positivity. Be aware of your thoughts, and anytime you experience a negative one, fight it off with a rational thought, followed by one of a positive nature. Rational positive thinking is key to retraining your thought process and eliminating beliefs with a negative impact.
You are what you watch. If you want to feel confident in a specific area so that you can confidently and freely discuss it with friends or with coworkers, watch a few documentaries on the subject.
Take a class
Going back to school is a great way to expand your knowledge about a particular subject or subjects. If you’re seriously interested in something—whether it’s animal training, becoming a real estate agent, learning American Sign Language, or creative writing—take a class on it. You don’t have to complete a degree. One or two classes will suffice and make you feel more knowledgeable about that particular subject.
Hang out with people with similar values
Your core group of people should share a few of the same core values as you do. If your support system is also success-minded and wants to find true meaning in this world, it will only make you more confident.
Take a risk
Sure, it may seem scary, but it actually results in a massive confidence boost. Once you take a risk—whether it’s skydiving, quitting a job you hate, or moving across the world—you might feel a sense of invincibility. No, you’re not invincible, but it goes to show the power of risk-taking: an overflow of confidence.
Reach out to someone you admire
Reach out to someone you admire—via email, via phone, or even via old-fashioned snail mail—and see if they are willing to meet with you over coffee. If you get the chance, pick their brain. See what makes them tick, what motivates their self-confidence. Reaching out to others who seemingly have it together could potentially help you develop a stronger sense of self.
Read books about things that interest you
Being armed with knowledge is one of the best things you can do to be more confident. If you bone up on your favorite things—whether it’s politics or sports or simply gardening—you’ll feel way more confident speaking on the matter with other people.
Speak into the mirror
If speeches make you nervous—or on a smaller scale, simply talking to people one-on-one—simply practice. Practice in the mirror, practice on the phone, practice with people you feel comfortable with. The more you do it, the more confident you’ll feel doing it.
Set small goals
Long-term goals are important, but setting small goals and then achieving them is crucial to feeling more confident.
Unlearn harmful thoughts of perfectionism
Perfectionism can have terrifying and destructive consequences. It can lead to depression, anxiety, and even risk of suicide, according to the Review of General Psychology. Unlearning these habits of perfectionism can be exceedingly difficult but it’s also to your benefit because when you release yourself of those pressures, you’ll feel lighter and more secure with yourself. Remember: The one thing better than perfect is “enough.”
Go to a networking event
Attending networking events is one great way to meet new people and practice your social skills. These events are usually full of different types of people who have many different jobs, so it’s a great opportunity to flex your confidence muscles.
Keep your workspace neat
A neat and organized work environment results in a positive, confident worker. Things run seamlessly and more smoothly when things are in the right place, and you’ll instantly cut back the time you normally dedicate to trying to locate something, which will give you a greater sense of control in your life.
Learn a new skill
It’s important to hone your craft and improve the skills you already have. But did you know that taking up a new hobby and learning a new skill is also important to boosting your confidence levels? Confidence comes from believing in your own ability and skills, so taking up a new skill gets that confidence percolating.
Can a Snickers bar really impact your confidence levels negatively? Believe it or not, yes. Nutrition is key to boosting your mood. The best way to successfully do that is to eat a diet rich in minerals and vitamins.
If you’re feeling depressed, anxious, stressed, or generally bad about yourself, resist the urge to reach for anything sugary. Sure, it will give you a spike in blood sugar levels, temporarily perking you up, but long term, sugary treats negatively affect mood and will leave you feeling exhausted and drained.
Don’t pay attention to social media
Social media can have damaging affects on self-esteem and self-image. If negative comments or a lack of likes and interaction are getting you down, it’s time for a social media cleanse. Take a hiatus and try to remind yourself that social media, in the grand scheme of things, is a pretty superficial place. And remember: The only validation that matters is the kind you find inside yourself.
Take up martial arts
The point of martial arts is to learn how to successfully defend yourself. People who can’t defend themselves—and deliver a really good punch—are less likely to feel vulnerable in this world.
Learn to say “no”
Insecure people are more likely to feel obligated to say “yes.” Meanwhile, a confident person learns when to say “no” and doesn’t feel guilty or bad about turning something down. According to Psych Central, saying “no” is closely linked to a spike in confidence.
Unfollow accounts that leave you feeling inadequate
Do you follow a ton of supermodels on Instagram who leave you feeling insecure about your own appearance? Unfollow! Are you a parent who follows super-moms on Instagram who apparently have it all together and consequently make you feel like crap every time they post an early-morning photo of their kid’s bento box lunch? Unfollow! You don’t need those negative feelings in your life! So just hit the unfollow button and don’t feel sorry about it.
Steer clear of alcohol
Alcohol is widely referred to as a confidence booster, especially when it comes to feeling loosey-goosey and getting flirtatious. But remember that alcohol is a depressant and can therefore leave you feeling irritable, destructive, and self-deprecating. Keep the drinking to a minimum if you want to build your confidence.
Seize any opportunities
You don’t want to have regrets about not going after something, do you? When new and exciting (and potentially scary) opportunities come up, take them. See them as a sign—it’s time to try this or do this. The more you seize new opportunities, the more confident you’ll become in your ability to try.
Confine your caffeine
Sure, coffee is terrific in the morning, but too much caffeine can cause you to feel dehydrated, result in headaches and migraines, and can negatively impact your energy, causing mood swings. If you’re feeling grumpy and annoyed, it’s safe to say that confidence isn’t on the forefront of your mind. Cut back on the coffee to experience more self-reliance.
Stop making fun of yourself
Cutting ourselves down. It’s a defense mechanism we all use every now and then, but there’s time to let go of that habit. If you catch yourself being overly self-deprecating, instantly improve your posture and remind yourself of everything you’ve just read right here.
To discover more amazing secrets about living your best life, click here to sign up for our FREE daily newsletter!